ethan dolan imagines

love you hate you//one

um........it's long sorry but i think it's good. this also has some cursing in it so... yeah.

this is also very weird and very crazy. this person is crazy... you are crazy in this imagine. sorry, it was ethan's fault.

also the title of this imagine is cheesy haha

you and ethan had dated for years. you and him fell in love and even said it to eachother. but things have been going wrong with ethan and you forgave him for his mistakes many times and gave him many chances. but it got worst now that you two hardly see eachother even though you live in the same apartment.

Your POV
8:30am
i woke up on our-i mean my king bed stretching my arms. the first thing i did was open my phone to see if he's answered my texts.

texts from me at 1am:
ethan?
answer my texts
ethan
ethan
where are you
ok
i love you

no answer.

"fuck," i mumble putting the phone in my pocket. i drag my body off my bed and lazily walked to the bathroom, tying my hair in a pony on the way. ethan hasn't slept with me for weeks, and came home 10am so he can go to work. usual him.

i washed my face before looking in the mirror, looking at the mess ethan made of me. my eyes are darks and baggy, i lost color of my face and i lost all emotions. until now.

i have built up so much anger in myself and now it's time for me to let it out. and that's what i'm doing.

i scream a painful cry, tugging the rubber band holding my hair up, letting my hair down. i pull bundles of my hair very hard, letting out everything ethan gave to me. i lost everything to him. i lost my feelings, i lost warmth of my hands, and i lost... myself.

each tug of my hair and the hard clenching of my fists, causing painful marks on my palms, was everything i've kept in. from ethan not answering my text, to waking up alone, to every single cry i had in front of him while he ignored it, calmly doing what he does best. ruining me.

i look in the mirror and i had enough of myself. i lost the life of my skin, and now the sanity i have tried to keep. i grab the heaviest object in the bathroom and chuck it at the mirror. a loud bang of glass dropping on the floor and on my lifeless skin, but that never scared me. i stared, proud of letting it all out, still crying.

then i start laughing, sounding like the insane human ethan made of me. i stare proudly at the shattered mirror because that's what ethan left on me. hatred and hopeless love.

after that i managed to stop crying and washed my face again, putting on makeup after that. after that, i didn't bother picking up the mess i left and walked out. i want ethan to see how i feel now. how shitty i feel. how insane i am because of him. how he threw me out.

i walk downstairs with a small smile, reaching the kitchen, opening a cabinet revealing my bottle of vodka. fuck it. i need to wash my anger away in the alcohol. it's something i never touch due to my youth, but i can't handle any of this.

i open the bottle and take a swig of it, not even minding the stinging in my throat. it's the pain i feel everyday. why do i live like this? i could just leave him. but i just can't. i still love him. i'm so stupid for falling helplessly in love with someone that doesn't even care about how i feel now.

i take the large bottle to the tv room, turning the tv on. i take another swig of it, feeling the burning sensation in my throat, making my tears fall. whatever, let the mascara darken the skin around my eyes. i always look like that. let it drip down my cheeks like the painful tears i have kept for weeks.

the tv shows some funny show, making my brain so screwed. i'm a mess, drinking, crying, and watching humor. i'm insane, i just want to let this all go.

but part of me doesn't want to.

i swirl the bottle on my hand, keeping a deadly glare at the tv while my mascara spreads all over my face. whatever. i'll let ethan come home to his girl, or other girl.

i hate the shit he is, but in hopelessly in love with his mess. and now here i am.

i take a swig of the bottle and let time past by quick.

9:30am
i didn't even realize time went by since the alcohol took it away. i stare mindlessly at the tv, watching the tv show i've been watching stop playing and go to commercials. i walk out of the room and into the kitchen to put the empty bottle of vodka on the kitchen counter.

i walk, tripping on my feet along the way to the bathroom and look in the shattered mirror. i look good. my mascara all over my face, my lips red and puffy, my eyes red and puffy, and my hair all over the place. i look beautiful.

i smile at myself and let myself sober up a little before ethan comes home. i won't try to impress him anymore. he can see me in my screwed up face in my pajamas. he can deal with my shit.

i open my phone from the bedroom since i heard a sound coming from it. i lay on the bed and read the message.

message from ethan at 9:30am
coming home soon

don't call this place your home ethan. it's not a home where we hardly see eachother now you dumb shit.

i close my phone and walk back in the bathroom to put my hair in a bun before walking back to the tv room, stumbling a little since i'm still intoxicated.

i sit and slouch on the couch, staring at the tv with my frown. tears fall down my cheeks even though there are jokes playing on the tv.

ohhh it's 3am, which is why this is an imagine i pulled out of my ass.

there's a part two coming soon since this is the longest thing ever.

okay...