ethan dolan imagines

borrowed time//two

unedited

gets cheesy so...

and long... ;)

Your POV
walking towards his car, while his body trailing behind me, is not what i call easy, the guilt inside me like wildfire; ablaze and hectic, springing in all corners taking everything down in its path. the guilt is so strong and existent inside my mind, it's hard to think you're going into someone, that you've just admitted to cutting ties with, that guy's car. my body boils in red hot embarrassment, as i climbed in the passenger seat, then taking one single yet long glance at ethan dragging himself inside.

he smacks his left hand on the steering wheel, closing his eyes letting out a sigh, baffled by the events that took place just minutes ago. and there's a long and hesitant pause before he attempts to say, "y/n, i-"

"just drive," i mumble, but he goes on, turning his head to face me, my face tense.

"no, not yet," and again, he takes a long and necessary pause, turning down the volume of the radio, before saying, "have i ever hurt your feelings?"

i sit in silence, looking down at my lap playing with the joints of my fingers deliberately. yes, he really did hurt my feelings, he worn out my heart until i had nothing left. but that oblivious question he asked, it causes a large thump of my heart. and a lasting ache.

i never admitted my feelings to him. i never talked to him personally, nor did i ever yell at him until a few minutes ago, and no did i even cry in front of him, or make him aware of my crying, or even explain why im crying.

why are you crying y/n?

it's nothing, ethan.

when i explained my departure, he was shocked, unable to gather up his mind, as if its a giant stone that clashed it with such damage. he never knew i felt this way.

and the guilt inside me risen without a warning.

"i don't know," i mumble.

he huffs, then laughs menacingly. "good God! if i ever hurt your feelings you tell me right now! tell me right now since you never had a chance before!"

"i did! i told you this isn't what i want!"

"and you felt that way for weeks and weeks, and never even said a single word about it," he quiets down. "can you...can you just come into my shoes for a second and think about how confused i was just minutes ago?"

i look down at my hands, watching a small tear fall from my eye to my palm. "just drive, ethan, i'm just-i know what you're saying but i just want to go home."

"wow," ethan says starting the engine to his car. "wow, you honestly surprised me, and i'll be left with nothing to feel good about."

"okay, ethan! i'm sorry!" i shout, seeing ethan distressed, eyes low on the road, squeezing tightly on the steering wheel. i sigh, "you should be okay, anyway. i'll be gone from your life, and you'll be content with it, or pretty much not care at all."

few seconds of silence before ethan speaks up. "i don't think you know," ethan mumbles, then i shudder, turning my head to meet his gaze, quite shaken by his statement, also questioning the meaning of it.

there are multiple meanings that i can think of.

and suddenly i softened at the muscles, the guilt growing stronger. i really don't know him as much as i think.