ethan dolan imagines

i miss her//one

unedited, you'll find out why.

Your POV
"it'll be fun," she said, feeling the curves of her hips from the tight dress that shows it off. i bite my nail, feeling slightly nervous about what could go wrong, the thoughts of him will forever haunt my mind like the greatest light.

him and i, us. we, were something i couldn't really define. best friends, along with a twist to it that totally doesn't correlate with the meaning of a friendship. it was scandalous, then to soft, then violence, to a form of romance that threw all of our worries in a drain. bond of two molecules, the energy and attraction between them couldn't compare towards this emotional rollercoaster of feelings all mixed up in an unhealthy way, yet in this attractive bond of eachother.

ethan and i. no feelings he and i said, constant reminder to mask the endlessly painful love we put ourselves through, yet we were fine with it. as long as we ended up in eachother's arms, complete strangers only doing it out of desire, even though it was really the thought of him and i.

ethan and i. it was wrong to love eachother he said, constant reminder that these pleasurable moments will end up in flames that couldn't be put out. and by gosh was that true. bond of two molecules, take separate ways, but taking what's left from them, the energy and the attraction.

it's not going to work, i remember shouting at him, throwing all that was in front of me at him. violence...

what's not going to work, i believe he shouts back, tears in his eyes showing the pain and guilt of my words. it shouldn't be that important to him, but if hit him deeply. he hesitated before saying, there is no us.

and i couldn't move, feeling my mascara drips down my cheeks, translucent darken tears like this awful addictive love we clearly knew we fell into together. what? i questioned, even though i completely knew what he was gonna speak in a matter of moments.

no feelings, he stuttered, inches closer to me by the minute.

and that whole night tents the truth between us. we ended up in eachother's arms that night, last night actually, secretly just wanting this forever.

but i left early. new guy in my life.

i'm okay now. even though the attraction and energy between ethan and i remains molded in my heart like cancer.

"you okay, y/n?" my friend snaps me out, fixing my rather tight dress. "you zoned out a bit. what's gotten into you?"

"the usual things," i say with my best smile.

"your boyfriend doesn't have to know," she spoke rubbing my back. "if that's what you're worrying about. if you want a break from him and just enjoy being young, go ahead, and here's your moment."

i wasn't worried about my boyfriend one bit. i just hope i don't lose control at the night club, and just end up in a certain someone's side. scenarios pop in my mind multiple times, fears make me resist loosening up. i don't want to see him.

feelings aside now that i reached the club, my friend dragging me as i attempt to speed my pace in these heels that burns the back of my ankle. inside i reach bright star looking lights all on the ceiling. my worries lay off, and i feel my inner youth take over as i allow my friend to take me straight to the counter.