ethan dolan imagines

realization//one

unedited as you will tell after reading this.

Your POV
"i'm coming over soon" was what ethan said though text, i stare at how sudden and straight-forward this was. i thought whether or not to text back something, but i feel for sure that he's already on his way to my house, so i didn't bother.

i tense up knowing that ethan stresses about his girlfriend, who's been very unclear about her relationship with ethan, but i don't bother. it's his problem, but he seems to go to me to talk about the problems and have me solve them.

lets just say that he's really indecisive about the chemistry between him and her. well he felt certain about how he feels about her, but he doesn't know if she feels the same way. it's heartbreaking to hear him feel so scared whether or not she actually is on the same level as him in their relationship.

i hear a blunt knocks on my door, and i knew it was ethan so i got up quick, knowing these days when ethan goes to my house he has a whole lot to share to me.

i open the door, and i immediately gather him in my arms, already feeling he tears wet my sweatshirt on my shoulder. this is a whole knew side of him i never thought i would be a part of. watching him vulnerable right now feels surreal, because he's usual very tough from far away.

"ethan," was all i could breathe out before his loud sobs echo though the whole house. he's having one of the worst mental breakdowns he's ever had, i can tell. he gathers a fistful of my sweatshirt letting out angry tears as i attempt to shut the door with my foot.

his heavy weight was all on my shoulders, making me lose balance a little and weaken. "ethan lets sit down."

"i loved her," he repeated over and over as i got both of us to sit down, but he was still latched on me with his arms locked around my neck with his face burring in the fabric of my shirt.

i didn't when was a good time to calm his chaotic rambling of words the escaped his wet puffy lips. i comb through his knotty hair trying to find a way to comfort him without words.

i hear him choking on air as his loud sobs eventually went to heavy accelerated breathing. maybe it's not the time to talk yet, i thought since i knew he wasn't in the right state of mind to explain what caused this breakdown.

i feel surprised since this is a guy that i look at as a tough stone wall that couldn't be broken down by any force. well, i thought wrong, maybe there is something behind stone wall we all see. i now see such a sensitive soul, dependent on comfort from someone when his wall came tumbling down so suddenly, so dramatically, so violently, and it confuses me how something or someone could cause him to be in such pain.

all i heard from him is a bunch of incoherent i loved her's multiple times until he lost breath. it's obvious who he's talking about but how could she make ethan suffer this badly?

his head falls on my lap, seemingly very exhausted from all that has happened in the past ten minutes. ethan calms down now, silent breathing, and now i'm able to hear the rain tapping on the windows, making the atmosphere around us seem depressing.

my hands remain tangles in his hair, still my way of calming him down. i debate in my head if it's now the right time. he might not want to hear me. probably the silence is helping him out.

"can you talk," he voice breaks the silence and blocks out the rain drops. i look down at him who's waiting for me to speak. he turns his body so he faces me from above.

"what do you want me to say?"my voice spoke, calm and careful, since i don't know if that could break or what could break my best friend again. my confused eyes gaze at his, taking in his features. his eyelids are swollen, and the whites of his eyes are no longer white, they're splashed with a blood-like color. his skin was puffy, making him look surprising chubby, and was rosy. his lips were also puffy and a rose color.