ethan dolan imagines

realization//two

unedited sorr-

Your POV
"oh, sorry," he says pulling his hand away, leaving my hand cold, in need for his warmth.

"'bout what?" i question pretending i didn't know what the heck happened, when really it was the most obvious moment between us.

"nothing," he said looking at his hands. "just zoned out."

"yeah?" i said paying attention to that smile ethan couldn't keep hidden. "what?"

"i just realized that i've been doing the wrong thing," was all he said staring at nothing, thinking of i don't know what, while my body went cold when he met my gaze. our connection felt so strong, it felt too real to be ignored. as if something told us it was meant to be, or it was us telling eachother it was meant to be. it felt so wrong though, knowing that ethan might just be doing this because of his heartbreak.

"okay," was all i said before we fell into this silence that felt beyond my comfort level. it was nerving. the tv was on but we weren't able to dissolve this awkwardness. i'm not happy about it, and so does ethan, who glanced at me multiple times.

i felt so tempted to just go back to how we were minutes ago, normal.

risk it, i thought, shifting my body towards me. we are friends still. i shift closer to him whose face is lit up by the bright tv screen, and i rest my head against his chest, feeling the body heat that's radiating off his body. i like this better, the close friendship we have between eachother, feels right and feels so special. i hope he feels the same. part of me knows he likes this too, since he moves his body to get comfortable, holding me in his arms, playing with small strands of my hair.

something felt different though, there's was indeed passion between us that was a lot more visible that before. this felt important to us, i thought, i knew. i feel the atmosphere that surrounds us feel warm and soft, like the world was telling us how special this is, i hope i'm not the only one feeling the sensation that pulls us closer than ever before.

his pulsating heart filled my ears, so steady. the heavy beats dazed me, making my eyes naturally shut.

rain disrupted my calm mind, my small sleep now disturbed, making me feel frustrated. i barely remember so much, only ethan and falling asleep. together like a connected puzzle, friction forming heat between our bodies comfortably on the couch.

"y/n," his husky voice spoke, my skin feeling the sensation of his gentle touch tracing little patterns on my arm like he were making a drawing.

i feel so conflicted by these feelings that are begging to be shown in any way.

these feelings happened so fast, like splitting the smallest particle known to life, creating an explosion so quick you wouldn't think before it happens. happened too quick, but it was a type of quickness that was surprisingly the biggest relief. our feelings were the smallest particle. the explosion is what we've held in about eachother.

i never fell in love with someone this quick.

entwining of our hands like it was the only way to calm this magnetic force between us. we stare at the touch like it were more beautiful than any jewel known. it looked like a gift to me.

"hm?" my voice barely audible, distracted from the beautiful feeling our his hand holding mine so tenderly like our life depends on it.

"i never felt things like this ever," he admits, applying his soft lips against the back of my hand so passionately and sweetly, this will never leave my heart until it stops beating. everything that he's done has left this painful imprint inside my chest, but the pain was good. it felt right. love can be pain, but it can be pain so beautiful.