ethan dolan imagines

i miss her//two

unedited and long yay.

oh and requested kinda (love you guys)

Your POV
i stare at the wall sitting on my bed, my boyfriend standing up nagging at me in the corner of my eye, like he's supposed to control my choices. but he doesn't, he's not me of course. i control myself, and i'm nagging at myself in my head thinking about how stupid it was to not get over this one guy that came in my life and stayed in my life even though i want it gone. it's history, but i keep on reliving it all like my life was a book, a whole story about ethan and i; two young adults not caring for the world around themselves. no feelings at all about one another, somehow feels some sort of way, and breaks it off quick. done, but that's not all, there's an infinite amount of sequels that are slowly being written out as every second goes by. new sequel; a person who saw the guy, and now the person can't help but not want to get over him, because ethan's so easy to love.

he's so easy to love.

"why did you do this to me?" my boyfriend says yanking me out of my swirling thoughts. "why did you do this to you? why to us?"

i don't know, maybe it's the thought of not forgetting my young love, maybe it's the experience with him, maybe it's my young heart wanting to break out of this shell and fly like nothings stopping it, or maybe it's just being curious about if going to the club might just get me to see him again. maybe it's all and more.

"are you listening to me?" my boyfriend's voice ringing in my ears.

"yes i am, and i'm sorry that i'm like this. it's just that i have a hard time moving on," i admit standing up off the bed and face him. he sighs. "did you do anything with him?" his concerning voice spoke.

"no," i say. "he just said hi, and i left, i didn't want anything to do with him."

how many lies does it take to say until you are just faking everything, cause i never this disconnect from myself than ever. i feel like i'm staring at my own body, but not even knowing who the hell i was.

maybe i'm in search of something that'll helps me understand my thoughts. i might just be living a life that isn't what i intending for it to be. my true self staring at my fake self saying all these lies to my boyfriend, it makes just want to scream.

you're holding so many things back.

you say you were emotionally unhealthy before you met this guy in front of you. you still are believe it or not. but it feels more sickening than ever.

accept it, you need him.

my boyfriend left my room. "look, well talk about this later. i just need time to think about what you just said, you need to understand yourself more. i'm not here to not hear the truth behind what i see in front of me. if something's holding you back y/n," he says holding my hand. "i shouldn't just keep you away from what you want."

he says then i hear my apartment door open. "bye y/n," he says before i could anything to get him back, but he shuts the door leaving me alone.

i stare at nothing again, not even bothered by how much of my precious time is being taken, not even aware that my boyfriend basically broke up with me, but i never felt so grateful to how understanding he was. thank you so much for that.

then i hear my phone buzz. my body jolts when i reach my phone to find a contact that i haven't touched in a while, message me.

"hey i know it's late but i was wondering if we could talk" ethan texted. i glare at the screen, my smile pushing through a thick glass that has my frown plastered on it.