"We're not who we used to be, we're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat."
Madeline "Ellie" Young is a veteran tour manager. She's one of the best in the business; she can turn an...
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"Come do sound check with me." Harry smiled, his fingers pushing over my hair as I laid in bed.
I've been feeling sick over the past few weeks, spread over morning sickness to just feeling sick. Harry insisted I stayed in bed, but I never listened anyways.
"You realize sound checks mean you're supposed to check your songs," I chuckled. "I can't sing."
"That's a blatant lie." He smirked, pulling at my hips.
I followed him to the stage, where he handed me a microphone, pulling me on stage. A few fans that were here early started screaming from the back, running to the front at the sight of Harry.
"Hi!" Harry grinned, waving at them.
"You know my songs, right?" He asked me as the band got situated.
"Mostly, yeah." I shrug, gripping the microphone.
"We're starting with Woman, so let's have fun with it." He grinned as the fans situated themselves to listen.
My hands started to shake softly at everyone watching me, but when his emerald eyes met mine, I started to smile and sing along with him.
"I'm selfish, I know, but I don't ever wanna see you with him," I laughed as he twirled around on stage. "I'm selfish, I know, I told you but I know you never listen."
"I hope you can see the shape that I'm in, while he's touching your skin," I sang with him as he took my hand in his. "He's right where I should, where I should be, but you're making me bleed."
"Hareline!" One of the fans shouted as we both burst into laughter.
***
"We're on our 8th show and we've had no mistakes, so please, let's not jinx it," I chuckled to the cast. "Stick to your stations and be observant."
"It's the 18th of this month, we're almost towards break." Jeff said to me.
"It's what?" I asked, flipping to my calender.
"The 18th."
Pure terror and fear shot through me as I nearly ran to the bathroom. My period was due the 9th and after missing last month, I hadn't thought about it until now. I must have been so caught up in Harry and the tour that it completely slipped my mind. Oh god, the morning sickness, the complete bleh feeling all made sense now.
My hand hovered our my mouth as it hit me. Pregnant. Harry and I haven't had sex but Ben and I haven't had sex in weeks.
"Oh god." I mumbled, sinking to the ground.
The thought of having his baby sent terror through me. I had to be sure. I have to be sure.
I grabbed my bag from the floor before starting to the door. Harry grabbed my arm, turning me around to face him.
"Where are you doing?" he asked me. "Show starts in twenty."
"I need to go, I have to go get something from the store," I said to him as he furrowed his eyebrows. "I'll be quick."
"What's wrong?"
"I just need something."
**
Positive.
Three pregnancy tests later, I was officially pregnant. We were so careful, I'm confused as to how this happened. I pushed my fingers into my hair as I sobbed against the bathroom door.
"Madeline?" Harry knocked on the door.
I quickly sat on, pushing the pregnancy tests into the trash before wiping my face and throwing open the door.
"You all right?" He asked, pushing my hair from my face.
I nodded, lying, I couldn't distract him from his show tonight. "I'm still feeling a bit sick."
I helped the show, my mind completely somewhere else as I tried to find a solution to me. I, without a doubt, had the money to get the abortion, but I don't know if I could do it. Could I do it?
"Thank you! I love you!" Harry said before coming backstage.
I had tuned out the entire show and I hadn't even realized it. I was stuck inside my own mind.
I had to tell Harry. I had to tell him. I needed him for this.
Later that night, we were sitting inside my room, he had eaten but I didn't have an appetite. We were laying in bed as I tried to assess a solution for this.
"What's going on, babe?" He asked, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me close to him.
My hands were pressed into his chest as I looked up at him. "There's something I need to tell you, but you can't freak out."
He sat up to look at me, his eyes meeting mine.He nodded before I took a deep breathe, swallowing the lump in my throat.
"I'm-I'm pregnant."
His eyebrows rose as his jaw fell in shock. He wasn't expecting this of anything.
"But we haven't.." He trailed off, running a hand through his hair.
"It's Ben's, he's the only other person that I've-" I said as tears started coming from my eyes. "I can't keep it, Harry, I can't-and I don't know what to do, I'm freaking out and-"
Harry took my face in his hands, his thumbs softly gliding against my cheekbones. "It's all right, take a deep breath, Ellie, breathe."
A few minutes of trying to calm me down worked as I breathed deeply, pushing air into my lungs.
"You could keep it, you know," he said softly, my head pressed against his chest. "I could be the dad."
I chuckled at his offer, looking up at him. "I know you would, Harry, but if you're going to be a dad, I want it to to your own kids. And after what he did to me, I don't think I could.."
"We have a break next week, I can go with you to the, you know," he stopped, not saying it. "I can be there for you."
I wasn't used to having him be so supportive and there for me, but I was trying. I wanted him to comfort me, to hold me up when I'm falling.
I started to sob in his chest as he wrapped his arms around me.
"I love you, Madeline, and I'll be there through every step with you, I promise," he said quietly, his lips pressing against my forehead. "I promise, El."
