Two Ghosts// Harry Styles

16

Harry's POV

"What if the paparazzi catches us together walking in the clinic? The rumors will start and your image will be ruined, Harry." 

I watched as Madeline paced around the hotel room, panicking over everything. I got up, my fingers finding her face as I pressed my lips against hers.

"I don't care, Ellie, I'm going with you, that's final." I said to her.

"But, Harry-"

"I'll wear a hoodie and such so people don't see me, it'll be me and you, El." I whispered softly.

"Thank you, H."

***

She sat in the chair, her hand wrapped tightly around mine as she struggled to breathe. She was struggling to come to terms with what she was about to do. The thought of raising a child with her was a great vision to have, but she wanted our babies to be both her and I. Which I couldn't blame her for.

Over the past couple weeks, she started to let her guard down and be her whole and true self to me. She was completely dedicated to me and I felt like I was the most luckiest person in the world to have such a strong and beautiful woman in arm length of me every morning.

"I'm scared, Harry." She whimpered, gripping my hand tighter.

"I know, baby, I know." I whispered, pressing my lips against her hand.

The doctor came in, a reassuring smile on her face. "Hi, I'm Doctor Alison Keeler."

We both shook her hands, Madeline trying to keep herself calm.

"Would you like an ultrasound first?" she asked her, washing her hands before putting blue latex gloves on. "Perhaps hear the heartbeat?"

"No." She shook her head.

"Now, I'm not trying to force you to second guess yourself, but are you sure that you want to do this?" She asked softly, meeting Ellie's eyes.

She looked at me, her hand loosing her grip on mine. Part of me wanted her to say now, to have this baby with me, but the other half didn't want apart of that horrible man in her life. I understood her. I smiled softly before nodding at her.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"All right, well, procedure wise, I need to see how far along you are in order to determine which type of abortion you need, to help you assess your options."

She started to nod as tears escaped her eyes. The doctor lifted her shirt before putting some clear gel on it, Madeline shivering. She pressed the device to her stomach, searching for the baby. She turned the screen away as Madeline closed her eyes.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to look?" Dr. Keeler asked again.

She shook her head, keeping her eyes closed. "No, I can't."

"It looks like you're about 10 weeks, I will have to perform an aspiration abortion, which is a type of suction to pu-"

"Okay, just do it." Madeline inhaled sharply, shifting in the chair.

"Maybe the Dad would like to wait outside?" She asked me.

"No, he stays." Madeline quickly said, gripping my hand tighter.

They set her up for the procedure as she started to tremble beside me. "You're going to have to calm down, Madeline."

"I am going to walk you through the procedure as I go along, all right?" The doctor asked, sitting between her propped up legs.

"Mhmm." Madeline said, biting her bottom lip.

"Firstly, I'm going to insert a tube we call the speculum to separate your vaginal walls and then I'm going to wash the cervix with an antiseptic solution, okay?" she said to her. "You will feel a pressure, but it should not pinch or hurt, if it does, let me know. The solution may cause a slight burning sensation and your ears may ring, but I assure you it's normal."

El nodded even though the Doctor couldn't see her. Her hand gripped mine as she shifted uncomfortable beside me. 

"It's all right, baby, look at me." I said softly, brushing her hair back.

She turned and looked at me, her eyes watered over with tears. I hated seeing her like this, I hated knowing that she was uncomfortable.

"Next, I am going to place a tenaculum on your cervix, where I will insert dilators to start," she said from her chair. "Then a cannula will be inserted, where I will use a forth and backwards motion to release the pregnancy tissue."

Madeline sniffled loudly as her other hand gripped the side of the chair. "You'll likely feel a cramping sensation when the cannula is exited, but that's normal, are you ready?"

"Yes." Madeline mumbled.

"Take a deep breath."

Before it started, it was over. Within a few minutes, she was done. She performed another ultrasound to make sure the uterus was cleared before sending the two of us someone for Ellie to lay for a bit.

"Dad, it might be better if you gave her space." Dr. Keeler said to me as I helped her from the chair.

"No, it's fine," Madeline interjected before I could say anything. "Come on, Dad."

***

"Please get some sleep." I begged her as she paced around the hotel room.

"I can't believe I did that, Harry!" she yelled, near to tears. "I killed a baby, I killed another human."

I put my arms around her, holding her tightly against me as she sobbed. "You chose life, you chose your life. It was the right thing to do."

"Then why does it feel so wrong, H?"

"Come on." I said, directing her to bed as I held her tightly.

I hated Ben for this. I hated myself for not being there for her during the two years, I hated myself for not keeping her from all this pain. I hated it.

She let out a shaky breath, trying to calm herself down. God, she was so strong.

My arms wrapped around her, squeezing her so tight in hope that I could squeeze every broken piece back together.