Camera || m.g ✓

T H I R T Y

edited

I have to say this.

I can't bear to look at Martinus.

His face is scrunched up and he doesn't bother a smile to me, I don't know what I did to make him act like this. He wasn't even 'there' for me when I needed someone to talk to. A blunt knife slices through my chest and down to my stomach whenever I imagine myself saying his name in my head.

Images flash when Marcus told me that he waits for my calls to jump into voicemail with an annoyed look on his face.

This is why I let him walk ahead while Marcus and I stay behind.

"He's been on a mood change, nowadays," Marcus tells me, "since the last time he called you, I think. I don't even know why."

Since the day mum got out of the hospital. That was one week ago, that's how long he's been pissed off?

"Yes," Marcus answers, as if reading my thoughts. "Since one week ago."

I look sideways to glance at his face, "do you know why?"

Marcus shrugs. That is not helping. That is not helping at all.

By the time we get to the hotel, I notice that Martinus is only acting like a complete jerk towards me. He talks fine with everybody else. With Athena, with Cole and with Marcus. He laughs along with them, joke with them. Where am I when all these happened? I was in the corner watching all this unfold.

I don't try to jump into the conversation. It'll just ruin the atmosphere. It's good anyway that they get along.

Athena, Cole, Marcus and Martinus march into the hotel together. I tag along behind them as if I've done this a million times before. If I'm completely honest, this doesn't affect me at all in some kind of way. But what affects is me is that Martinus doesn't even bother to breathe my way and that is kind of unsettling.

Athena notices my lack of effort to join in on a conversation and calls me.

"No thanks," I mutter my answer, "I'm going to head up to my room. Do you have the key?"

Athena looks surprised by my response but does nothing. She hands me a card, telling me that my room is just on the second floor so I won't have to climb very high on the stairs.

"What floor is your room on?" I ask her. I skillfully avoid Martinus' curious eyes and keep my facial expression blank and not look like as if I'm about to smash every ceramic in the hotel.

"Seventh," she answers.

"Can I have your room instead?" I ask her, hoping and pleading. I do my best puppy dog eye.

"Are you sure?" Athena hesitates, "but you'll be tired of climbing up the stairs."

"I can just take up the elevator, no worries," I wave her off. I just need to get away as far as possible and sit down, curl up in a ball.

"But – "

"Please?"

Athena glances at Cole and he shrugs. Athena fishes another card and switches is with the one I'm holding. I say thanks to her and turn around to head for the elevators.

"Sera! Have Martinus come with you upstairs," Athena calls. I freeze.

"No thanks," I say, without looking back at Athena. I bite my bottom lip so hard, I can taste a hint of blood.

I hear an exasperated sigh. "Marcus then?"

"No, I'll be good."

Without waiting for Athena's reply, I fast walk to the elevators. For the first time in my whole life, I am glad to watch the doors close while I am inside. For the first time in my whole life, I am glad that elevators existed.