Unhuman ≫ h.s.

33

[C h a p t e r 33]

His frame hovered over mine, and I stayed still, afraid to move. His eyes darting in and out of focus. I watched as he clenched his fist into the sheets beside my waist.  I heard him mutter a curse word.

I really wanted to help him, but there wasn't much I could do. It was like he was fighting himself, and internal battle. The sound of his breathing was ragged and unstable. I felt the bed shaking underneath him, threatening to give out any second. I slowly extended my hand to his cheek.

The moment my hand touched him, everything ceased. The only sound was my heartbeat, the rest of the world was silent. My palm slid down towards his chin, which I grasped in my fingers firmly. I released his face and allowed him to rest his head on my hand.

"Harry, I want to help, but I don't know what do." I whispered.

He looked at me underneath his lashes, he nuzzled his face against me before sitting up.

"There's nothing you can do, I knew this wasn't a good idea. Natalie this is something I've had to deal with for my whole life. I was seconds away from hurting you, from losing myself. You have no idea what I can do." he responded.

"I'm not afraid."

"I didn't say you were, but its that right there that scares me. Your too brave, and your not afraid of me now but if you saw my past, and what I'm capable of you- I don't want that for you. I know I sound like a broken record, but Natalie sooner or later you'll leave me, and not because I asked you to." he said.

"This is the last time you better mention not being together. Last time okay, don't you get it? I'm not leaving you, we started this together and how ever it ends it ends. I'm stubborn, and I get it from my mom. So there's nothing you can say that will make me see what you want to see." I said.

His fingers wrapped around my wrist, I shivered as he lightly traced my hand. When I looked at him he gave me a small smile. No teeth, and sad eyes.

"I don't want to be your downfall." he whispered.

" I'm my own downfall, these are my decisions and choices. Harry you don't need be angry or upset. In fact you have no reason to be, just be happy that's all I want. Accept my choices, just accept the fact that you can't get rid of me."

"Is that what you think?" He questioned.

I nodded slowly.

"No gnat, I don't want to get rid of you. I want you, I'll always want you, forever..."

He pulled me close to him, and I hummed in satisfaction. His warmth radiated off his body and around me. He buried his head into the crook of my neck. This was the first time where I think I was the one providing comfort. I rocked him back and forth like an infant. I ran my hand through his chestnut curls.

I think we both needed to be out of this room for a little bit, to calm down, what we needed was fresh air.

"Hey we should uh, go on a walk." I suggested.

He smiled at me "sure, that sounds pretty good right now."

I wiggled away from him, and turned my back away to him. I glanced around the room trying to find my clothes. I found them and slipped into them easily, well not my jeans. I had to shift my weight from side to side to get them over my hips. I arched my back stretching, I felt lips on the back of my neck.

I giggled and shrugged him off. I shoved my feet into my nude flats, these weren't like the ones I used to have. These were new and smelled like rubber. 

"What is this?" he asked.

I looked up and saw he had a piece of paper in his hands. I walked over and noticed it was one of my sketches, just one of my doodles. It didn't really mean anything to me, just a random arrangement of lines.

"That's nothing, just something I drew for fun, why do you think it's pretty good?" I said raising an eyebrow at him.

He looked at it for awhile before turning to me. He set it back on the table and stuck his hands in his pockets. He didn't say anything like he was debating on what to say, "yeah it's great, I could never draw like you." he said.

He probably couldn't but you can't be good at everything. I offered my hand and he took it in his. I led him downstairs and out the door, I didn't bother checking the time.

. . .

I kicked at small pebbles that were no longer embedded in the ground. I could already see scuffing on the tips of my converse. I squeezed Harry's hand and leaned into him. Looking around I felt at peace, and safe. It was just me and him, no one was watching or listening.

"When did you planning on us leaving?" I asked interrupting the silence.

"I was thinking sometime next week... I know you've bonded with Zin but we can't stay here gnat." he said answering my question.

"Yes, I understand but there's something I need to tell you. I was thinking that maybe we could postpone th-"

"Why would we postpone, I don't think that's a good idea." he said.

I took a deep breath, here we go, "Well I don't think were the only ones that feel this way.... Against the government. I think there are others, others in my school and we can't just leave him here. I was thinking if we started a group lead a rebellion. Maybe just-"

"You're starting to talk crazy." he said cautiously.

"Let me finish," I rushed "Maybe we could over throw them- the capital. It's not that crazy. I just feel bad leaving people behind" I said quietly.

"Natalie sometimes in life, well- people get hurt and left behind. You can't save and make everyone happy. It's not worth it." His hand grabbed a strand of hair and tucked it behind my hair.

"Isn't a life worth something?" I replied my voice cracking.

He didn't answer right away, almost as if he was trying to pick the correct words. Trying to find a way to convey his thoughts to me but also appeasing me.

"Yes, but this, you, your life is worth so much to me. I don't think I can risk that, I don't think I have it in me." he answered.

"I would be okay with it though, dying for a cause, something I believe in with my whole heart. I wouldn't mind." I said softly.

He stopped in his tracks, his face held sadness. "If that's what you want that I can't and won't hold you back. Just rethink it, for me. How do you know their like us?" he asked.

"Well I was curious and in my art class there's this girl. Beautiful and quiet. She always sketches of people with ink on their skin. Unfortunately she always destroys them, but the detail she puts into each. She also has a tattoo on her lower back, I saw it one day when she dropped a paintbrush." I said looking at him.

His eyes held questions and doubts, "Well, she needs to be more careful if she's like us, and of course you were curious when are you not" he said a small smile playing on his lip.

I laughed and jumped on his back. He grabbed my thighs supporting me, I held on to his shoulders. I glanced behind and saw the footprints he left behind in the mud, "You have big feet" I said.

"You know what they say about big feet." he smirked.

I laughed even louder. Sometimes he can have a real good sense of humor, sometimes. I held on to him tight just so I wouldn't fall off.

"Gnat, just wondering what made you so curious about me?" he asked.

I thought for a second before leaning close to his ear "I'm not really sure there was just something about this boy in a blue hoodie that lit up my gray world."

______________________________________________________

Well, what can I say. i have a marshmellow heart sometimes.

Twitter- QueenOzzie