third day.
this morning was the same as always. me being there, you ignoring me.
during one of the subjects though, you looked my direction and smiled.
twice.
I hate it that I get butterflies and that only you make me get them. I hate that you break my heart in a blink of an eye and repair it the next. I hate that you go to her and not me. I hate that you look for her and not me. I hate that I asked the stupid question and you answered in a different way.
I HATE THAT I CAN'T CHANGE IT.
I don't even know why I did that. it was probably from the sadness and anger that built up inside me that made me do it.
I can't help that I'm still into you. or that I still like you. or that I still love you. I want you back and this makes me sound so desperate but, I can't help it.
back then, you were one of the only people who knew how to make me laugh. one of the only people who actually appreciated me. one of the only people who loved me for who I am. and I don't know if I'll ever get that again.
I just need you back in my life. I need you to be mine again. I need you to see that I'm sorry for what I've done. that I'm sorry for ruining everything. I can't take it back and I don't know how to fix this.
and I don't even know if you want it to be fixed.
I don't know how you feel. I don't know if you feel the same way or not. you might be into someone else I don't know. I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how. I'm trying to make myself look busy and you're doing your best to avoid me.
I wrote a message for you and I'm sending it in a few hours.
I just hope you actually acknowledge it and reply.
I'll love you forever.
- Belle
YOU ARE READING
Days Without You.
RandomA compilation of letters for someone I can never send them to.