Days Without You.

day 33

33rd day.

more and more people are finding out about this.

to those reading this and to those who know it's me, please don't tell him. when he finds out, I'll have to stop writing these and keep them all to myself.

anyways, moving on.

this morning, you stayed with me.

when you got there, you sat beside me and hugged me. I don't know why you did that to be honest.

you even held my hand. like, you wouldn't do that? it's just weird to think about.

I'm not complaining though.

in class, you seemed a bit down. I didn't know why. I asked you several times, but you never answered me.

it bothered me to see you like that. I wish I knew what it was that made you upset.

but, I won't know.

then, I felt down. I literally went to the bathroom and cried for a bit.

you literally sat down beside me and just asked if I was fine. of course, I said no. then you patted me on he back.

great comforting.

im not mad, but I just expected something that didn't happen.

then after a class, we hugged. I mean, no big deal. just a friendly hug right? right.

as you know, I had a game today.

I wasn't that nervous or scared. I've been in games before. but, it was a fun experience.

sadly, you weren't there to support me.

you said you would. but, you didn't. I understand though. you had to be somewhere so you left.

what did melt my heart was when I saw our class, friends, and LF come to watch and support.

you all know who you are. thank you for watching our game. I'm still so touched. I love you guys.

anyways, they shouted at the top of their lungs, supporting us.

I wish you were one of them, but you weren't.

it's fine. I understand.

they eventually left. and suddenly our motivation died. we barely scored and the other team's score increased.

so, we lost.

but, it's fine. it was a good experience. I made some new friends and all that.

I still don't know where I stand in your life. people are telling me different things and I don't know what to believe anymore.

friends tell me that you've moved on. your friends tell me that you still have feelings. I don't know.

one of my best friends even said, "you're happy now, but later, you're gonna cry over him. he's playing with you. you don't deserve that."

I take those words into mind all the time. but I can't really help what I feel.

I just need to know where I stand.

right now, you're with your friends somewhere.

I just wanted you to know that I love you. may it be as a friend or more. always take care of yourself. I'm here if you need me.

- Belle