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Playlist Day 1

I felt someone tap on my shoulder through my sleep. I groaned, nuzzling my head into Dan's shoulder, trying to slip back into the dream world.

"Hey, wake up." I heard Dan whisper to me. "Whyy?" I groaned, opening one eye. We were flying really close to land, and Phil was watching entranced. "Are we in America?"

"Yep." Dan smiled at me, his eyes glinting at the mention of our vacation spot. I smiled back sleepily, stretching out my body as long as I could in the airplane seat.

Phil turned to look at me, his eyes wide with excitement. "I'm excited to introduce you to everyone, and theres' a before party tonight."

This might seem strange, but I haven't been to a party since the eighth grade, the year before my.. family died. They passed on when I was 14, a new freshman, and I didn't go out much when I lived in France.

They saw my face change as I thought of everything, and Dan twisted so he could meet my eyes. "Alice, is there something wrong?" He asked, his eyes full of concern. "Just memories." I sighed. He slipped his hand into mine. I melted into my seat, as he took a deep breath.

"You seem to have something going on, your memories are bringing you down every time anything reminds you of the past month. Do you want to see a therapist? I think you might have... like.. a minor case of depression or something. It's not bad, and we can stop it before it gets bad." His grip tightened on my hand as he talked. "I had/have a minor case of depression too, and therapy really helps. We can get through this problem together." He let out a big breath of being able to expel what he thought.

"Dan." I shifted in my seat so I could face him. His face was twisted with sadness and nervousness. "I love you." I said sincerely. "I am so sorry you're depressed. I've been dealing with grief for a while, so I think we should help you.. Because of.." I said, not wanting to mention what he was going to do the day we got back together. "And that was a big thing over a tiny breakup. I know you told me an outline of why you were sad, but if you don't mind me asking, what had really caused you to sink to that point?" I may have starved myself, maybe sliced my arms once or twice, and had thought of ending my life, but I could never bring myself to actually do it. And I was really worried that Dan might try again. And lets just say if he committed suicide, I probably wouldn't be far behind him.

I heard Phil pop out one of his earphones, as if he wanted to hear what Dan was about to say.

"It's complicated." He sighed, keeping his iron grip on my hand. "It started almost a year ago. Things were becoming too much for me. Youtube, the radio, no one really being there for me. Except for, of course, Phil. People pretending to be my friend, just because I'm 'youtube famous'. Having people always questioning my sexuality. Does that really matter?! And everything started getting to me. I felt like life was just going on, but I didn't like it, almost like I was just waiting for something to happen. What's the point of being alive, Alice, when you'd rather be dead?"

His sincere, shining eyes stared into mine, like he was actually waiting for an answer. Which I couldn't give him. There was no point. But I couldn't say that.

"But- why that day?" I asked him. I felt a hot tear escape from my eye, and another.

"Because I realized I had lost the thing I had been waiting for all this time."

1 hour later

As soon as we exited the plane, we were put in a better mood by the warm weather. We met up with Louise out In front of the airport.

"You made it out alive! I waited for you so you weren't to awkward." She told me.

"Thanks," I laughed shakily, I was still a little freaked out over the landing situation. After we calmed down, it got to me again and I panicked.