You Too

Time

It's been about a year and a half, considering its the beginning of October.

That may seem like a long time.

And you're right.

But really it was not that eventful.

But I'll tell you what happened anyway.

1. Dan turned 23.

2. Phil tuned 28.

3. Then I turned 23.

4. Then Dan turned 24.

But other than birthdays,

I will tell you events from where you last know.

Mid April I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I am now currently doing a bit better, but they're not gone. Mackenzie said they probably won't, just be barley noticeable.

Then Dan turned 23. I gave him all the Just Dance games I could get my hands on and a lot of cuddles.

Then I was taken to Vidcon. It was a lot more hectic then Playlist live, but I got to spend time with my YouTuber friends. Although, I did hang out with Zoe and Tanya once or twice as well as Louise, of course.

After Vidcon I realized I needed a job. Dan and Phil arranged something so I could talk to someone from the bbc, and I was hired as a photographer for events and such. It's not like I'm a millionaire, but it pays for what I need in life.

This is also around the time when the threats started.

I was forced by my friends to sign up for every type of social media. And let's say on twitter and such people weren't the nicest to me. More and more people were seeing me in places, events and videos alike. People started to say things, about how Dan didn't love me he loved Phil, how I didn't deserve him, how I was annoying, how I was ugly, how I should kill myself. This did not help with the part that my job was putting constant pressure on me, and I started falling into a deep sadness.

Everyone tried their best to keep me happy, and I started to see Mackenzie twice a week. And this lasted until Halloween, when I went to a YouTuber party, and I felt truly happy for 4 months.

I progressively got better until the holidays rolled around. My mood was lifted majorly, hearing joyful music with every turn I took, wearing Christmas jumpers, and going shopping with various friends for other various friends. The month went by fast, and it was probably the happiest I had ever been since the crash.

My mood has been slightly average ever since, but whenever something bad happened like me and Dan got in a small fight it would drop pretty low. But it would immediately lift to its medium state when we were okay, so I went back to seeing Mackenzie once a week. Playlist live and Vidcon rolled by again. Heights still scared the shit out of me, but Mackenzie has showed me ways to calm down, and I was getting better. Loud noises also still freaked me out a bit, but I just reminded myself over and over again they weren't gun shots.

Then towards the middle of August, Dan, Phil, and I went on a mini holiday to France for two weeks, escaping from the rest of the English society.

September was quite boring, mostly just me taking pictures for the bbc and spending time with Dan. (Not very boring for me, but for you.)

Lastly, over been eating more often. Dan promised not to tell Mackenzie about the eating, so she still has no idea. But I started to look sickly skinny. I liked it at first, but u started to look like a ghost. Tall, skinny, pale, my hair gradually getting darker and darker. So I decided to eat once a day. I would eat as long I was under 110 lbs, being 103 today.

Which leads to now, the 3rd of October, 2015.

And currently I am opening a door.

My front door.

To see Zoe, her face red and tear streaked, and a suitcase in her hand.

Sorry this was so different and short ^-^ but I needed time to pass! Next chapter will be normal (•*•) < smooth lumpy space princess