Like I Do - Camren

Chapter 3

"Mani?!? How did you get in here?" Dinah quickly turns to face the girl, who starts towards us. "The door wasn't locked...." She mumbles. "Mila, what happened???" She questions, her hands hovering over my arm. Dinah gives her a look. "I'm so sorry....." Mani mumbles. "It wasn't your fault." I say. She just shrugs. "These are deep. You need to see someone." She says, looking into my eyes. "Please, let's not involve anyone else in this..... It's bad enough the 2 of you know." I say. "Bad enough? Bad enough?" Mani questions. "Mila! We are worried for you! These aren't looking good!" She exclaims. I look down, feeling guilty.

After a few minutes of convincing, they decided not to force me to go see a doctor. Mani left and Dinah sat by the tub next to me. "You know, this'll tear Lauren apart." She spoke, breaking the eery silence. "Why would you say that?" I ask. "Chancho, you two are the closest out of the whole group. She is currently across the hall thinking that you are doing fine, when you, in fact, are not fine." She states, as if its obvious. "Well she doesn't have to know." I decide. "She'll find out eventually." Dinah says. "I hope not." I shake my head. "What're you gonna do? Hide forever? These will scar! You can't just stop wearing short sleeves. She'll get curious, and figure it out." Dinah exclaims. She sighs, and looks down, shaking her head. "Just promise you won't do this to yourself anymore." She says softly. After I don't respond, she looks up at me. "Promise!" She raises her voice slightly. "Ok." I nod softly. "Thank you Chancho." She smile sadly. "No problem, Cheechee." I smile back.

****

"So, what're we gonna order?" Ally asks from Dinah's bed. All the girls met up in our room for a movie, and we're currently sprawled across everywhere. Dinah sat on the floor, leaning against her bed while facing the TV. Mani was laid across the couch. Ally laid on her stomach on Dinah's bed reading the menu, and Lauren sat next to me. I was cuddling into her side, feeling safety and comfort in her grip. "Ooo! Pizza!" I exclaim. "Haha. I knew you'd say that." Ally giggles. I quickly look down. She noticed the weight I've been putting on and how much I've been eating. I thought. "Actually, I'm not that hungry." I say, staring at my hands in my lap. I can see Dinah and Mani share a glance and I feel the other two girls' eyes on me. "Nonsense! You love food." Ally giggled. I knew I was really heavy, but she didn't have to remind me. She must've noticed how fat I was. "Yeah, Camz. That's your favorite part of the day." Lauren said as she rubbed my arm, sounding slightly upset. Great, she noticed too. I thought. "I'm just not feeling too well." I said, which was partially true. "Hey Chancho, can I talk to you in the hall real quick?" Dinah asked, standing up. I nodded and followed her out.

"Mila, they aren't saying you're fat." Dinah said, as soon as the door was closed behind them. "How do you know?" I ask. "Because, you are one of the skinniest, most fit person I have ever seen." She replied, grabbing my shoulders. I flinched at the touch, and that didn't go unnoticed by the girl in front of me. "Trust me, ok? Now you get that pizza and you eat it and you be happy." She commanded with a joking tone. "Ok." I nodded, hoping for truth in her words. We went back into the room and the girls looked at us. "So, pizza?" Dinah asked with a wide grin.

****

After 2 slices of pizza I decided I had had enough. The movie was almost through and everyone was asleep except me. I decided to open up my Twitter and just see if I could cheer myself up. I don't know why I thought that  would be good idea, because minutes later I was in the bathroom, crying. I had tried to muffle my silent sobs with my hands.  The reason I felt so bad was because I knew they were true. I was fat, ugly, and the girls were forced into my friendship. I didn't need them to worry about a girl that without fame they wouldn't even know. Maybe if I weren't here then they wouldn't have to worry about me. I thought.

I quietly made my way out of the bathroom silently and grabbed a pill bottle out of my suitcase. I quickly went back into the bathroom and closed the door. I looked at the bottle of the pills I was given by an "old friend" at a concert. I was told that if I took all of them "everyone would be happier". I knew that they would kill me. I poured the ten pills out of the bottle and into my hand. I took a deep. Breath and started to raise my hand to my mouth.

This isn't the right way to handle things. I thought, changing my mind a little too late, as Dinah bursted the bathroom. "Camila, drop those!" She yelled, startling me to drop all the pulls into the sink, on the counter, and on the floor. She rushed and pulled me into an embrace. "What the hell were you doing?" She exclaimed, pulling me away and looking into my eyes. The tears were very evident, along with the sadness. "I wasn't going to do it." I said. "Yeah, my ass. You were bringing them to your mouth!" She exclaimed. "Hey, what's going on?" A sleepy Mani asked from the doorway. "Oh my...." Her eyes scanned the floor and counter. "T-this..... Y-you... Were you... C-camila?" Tears brimmed Mani's eyes as she spoke. "Camila, I'm sorry, but this is it." Dinah said, pulling me out of the bathroom. "Hey, Mani, will you clean this up before the girls wake?" She said, and Normani nodded, wiping her tears.

We got downstairs and Dinah pulled out her phone. "Hey, what're you doing?" I asked her. "Hello?" She says into the phone. "Yeah. I need an ambulance.... My friend has really deep cuts.... Last night..... We're outside the ********* hotel...... Ok, thanks." She hung up. "Dinah, you said we wouldn't go to the hospital." I said quietly. "That was before you just tried to kill yourself!" She yelled, turning to face me. It was then that I noticed the true hurt and pain in her eyes. "I'm sorry Cheechee." I whispered. She responded by pulling me into a hug.

Before I knew it, I was being pulled into the ambulance on a stretcher and rushed away.