Like I Do - Camren

Chapter 16

Camila's POV
After all the girls go inside, I turn over to Ari. "So, what's up?" I ask with a smile. "Well, you may already know this but.... I kinda like you." She says, and looks down. "Of course you do... we're friends." I raise an eyebrow. "No, not like that. Like, like you like you." She elaborates. "Ari, I'm flattered, really.... but I can't say the same for you. I love you like a sister, I really do, but that's all." I say, hoping she won't get offended or upset or anything. "Actually, I know. That's not exactly where I was going with this." She bites her lip. I tilt my head, waiting for an explanation. "Ok. I see the way you look at Lauren, and how she looks at you. I know something is going on." She says. "Oh, no, I don't think you understand.... It's not like that.... we're just....." I begin, slightly panicked. "Oh, I know exactly what's going on." She chuckles. "You are in love with Lauren but you're too afraid to admit it. She is in love with you, too, but won't tell you for the same reason you won't tell her. So, I'm gonna help you out. I see the way you long for her." She grins widely. "But wha-.... Why would you want to help me? I thought you.... like me...." I ask. "Because, I like seeing you happy. Anyways, it's getting late. I'll text you tomorrow about project 'Get The Girl'" she chuckles and pulls me into a hug. "See ya later, Mila." She says, before letting go. "Bye, Ari." I say back, and she walks away.

I can feel a wide smile spread on my face as I open the door to the bus. I walk in and the girls all look up at me. They stare for a minute before I speak up. "What?" I ask, my smile still wide. "Girl, what did she tell you? You look like you just got laid." Dinah speaks up. "Ok, you really gotta stop saying that. And nothing happened. I'm just..... in a good mood." I say. They all give me questioning looks, and Lauren's has a hint of sadness and hurt. I refrain from asking what was wrong and walk past them all and to my bunk to change.

I hear some shuffling and whispering and then footsteps approach my bunk. Just then I hear someone clear their throat. "Uhm, hey Camz." Lauren says. I pull the curtain back a little and beam at her. "So, uh, what did Ariana say?" She asks. Immediately I feel my face grow red. "Just...... stuff." I say, and look down. I can't get the grin on my face to leave. I can't wait until we follow through with whatever Ariana's plan is to get Lauren. "Oh. Can I ask what... stuff?" She says, she sounds slightly disappointed and sad.... maybe even... jealous? Nah. "I'll tell you another time...." I shrug. "O-okay." She frowns, and looks somewhat hurt. "Thanks." I smile, and she smiles sadly back, before walking away. "I told you." I hear her mumble, probably to one of the girls.

Around 11 pm I hear all the girls settle in there bunks. In no time I hear Dinah snoring softly. When no one tries to stop her I assume they're all asleep. I slide out of my bunk and stand in front of Lauren's. "Lo?" I whisper. I hear a startled gasp from her and she slides the curtain open. "Camz? I thought you were asleep.....?" She says, her eyes showing we tiredness. "Oh, no. Definitely not. You and I were gonna talk tonight." I fold my arms across my chest. "I was hoping you'd forget about that." She sighs. "Ha, you wish. C'mon. Let's go to the lounge." I whine. "Maybe we shouldn't talk about it. I'm dealing with it, and you probably wouldn't wanna hear." She says. "Lo, get your lazy ass out here. It's bugging you so it's bugging me too." I drop my arms. "I don't think it's bugging you as much though." She mumbles. "Is it me? Somethings I'm doing?" I immediately feel self-conscious. "Because, I'm really, really sorry if it is. You can just tell me what I'm doing wrong so I can fix it.... I don't wanna upset you....." I trail off. She jumps out of her bunk and wraps her arms around me. "Aw, Camz, you're not doing anything wrong. I promise." She says soothingly, as I feel tears threatening to spill. "Are you sure? Because I keep feeling like I'm upsetting you..." I mumble into her shoulder. "You don't understand...." She sighs. "Then help me understand!" I pull away and break out of our whispering. "Shh." She shushes me. "I wish I could. I just...." She trails and looks down. "Can you tell me what Ariana said to you?" She finally asks, out of random. "What? How does that affect anything?" I ask, slightly frustrated. "Because... just, please?" She pleads. "Fine. She told me that she likes me. Like likes me likes me." I tell part of the truth. She sighs and looks down, mumbling an 'I knew it'. "Well, goodnight Camila." She says, and climbs back into her bunk. "What? I'm confused... was it something I said?" I ask, oblivious. "No.... yes.... Just... Forget about it. Get some sleep, you need it." She closes her curtain. My shoulders slump forward. "I'm sorry.... for upsetting you...?" I say, though it sounds almost like a question. She doesn't say anything back, so I climb into my bunk.

After 1 or 2 hours of tossing and turning I can't sleep. I'm trying to think of what Lauren is so upset about, and every possible answer I can think of has to do with me doing something wrong. She hates me. The thought kept popping in my head. I headed dizzily into the bathroom, knocking something off of somewhere causing a loud noise. I ignored it and stumbled into the bathroom. I fell down onto the floor. I could practically feel the thoughts whizzing around in my head, banging on my brain. I didn't know what else to do in this moment so I reached into my the cabinet in the very back and pull out the blade. It still had a little bit of dried blood on it but I ignored it, rolling my sleeve off. I ripped the bandage off, somehow knocking something else off of somewhere. I groaned from the pain, and from the slight bit of pounding in my head that whatever dropped had caused. I knew it had truly been loud when I heard ringing in my ears. Soon that was all I could hear. I tore at my skin with the blade, creating jagged lines. The stitches were being ripped and pulled at, until I looked down at the flesh and blood mess on my arm. I could make out black lines which were the stitches, but they were in the wrong order, spread across my bloody mess of an arm. I cried loud sobs as I watched the blood drip onto the floor. "Camila?" I heard someone's voice from out of the room. I glanced momentarily up at the open bathroom door before pulling my sweater over my head. It rests in the pool of blood on the floor as I tear the bandage off my other arm. I start tearing at that arm too, and I can I'm crying but I barely feel or hear it. Just then, I hear a scream that is not my own. I look up and see Dinah staring in horror army arms. "Sorry..." I manage to get out, my voice raspy from the screaming and crying. My head is pounding and my eyes are starting to droop. I feel the blade being pulled from my hand, as I struggle to keep it. I am far too weak to fight and I fall over. I feel a sharp pain on my head and hear voices that are jumbled together. Before I black out, I see four faces hovering over me. The one I notice most is Lauren, who has tears streaming down her face freely and has a hand covering her mouth. After that, everything turns black.