Like I Do - Camren

Chapter 34

Camila's POV
Lauren stared at me for what seemed like forever before speaking. "You're alive." She observed. I nodded in response. "Where've you been?" She asked. "Well, are you going to invite me in?" I ask with a nervous chuckle. She stands up straighter and blocks my view of inside. "You didn't answer my question." She says harshly. Immediately I regret my decision.

I felt triggered, the way her icy glare bore into me. "I- uh... I was at the LA Institute of Mental Health." I gulp heavily. Go to your safe place. I keep repeating in my mind. I was feeling so good when I left. I never realized how hard this would be.

"- are you even listening to me?" I hear Lauren say, and snap out of my thoughts. "So you're just gonna show up out of nowhere for the first time in two months, come to my apartment, and just ignore me while I'm trying to talk to you? Real nice, Camila." She rolls her eyes. I've got to get out of here. I begin to panic. I thought she would at least be glad to see me. I never should've come to see her. Breathing started to become hard, and I felt a panic attack coming on.

"Hey, are you okay?" Lauren asks as I start swaying, whilst trying to focus on anything but the fact that Lauren doesn't want me anymore. "I'm fine." I say. "Clearly." She mumbles sarcastically. She has never been this mean to me.

I shouldn't have come back. I think, and the thought bounces around my head. "I should g-go." I mumble, and turn to leave. Her freezing cold hand grabs my wrist, effectively stopping me. "Wait just a second." She says, and I look into her eyes which seemed to have softened.

She pulls me into her place, which is littered with takeout garbage and liquor bottles. "Sit down, stop freaking out." She says, back to being cold towards me. I didn't feel safe there. Lauren was my safe place in the institute, but I didn't feel safe with her right now.

She sat by me and reached to grab my shoulder, but I jumped so she retracted her hand. "Listen, I didn't ask for you to come back. I'm not gonna let you drive while you're freaking out like this. Stop being stupid and just breath, alright?" She said harshly. That was it. I couldn't take it. Not from her. Anyone else, I would've been okay, but this was Lauren. She was always so soft and sweet with me. This was not the Lauren that I left. I stood abruptly, which caused Lauren to stand as well. "Why did you even come here?" She asked. "I wanted to catch up. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I didn't tell anyone. I needed help." I reply, and she rolls her eyes.

"You could've come to anyone of us girls and we would've helped." She replied, her voice was so cold and harsh. "I tried that already. When you broke up with me I almost killed myself. I stopped, and decided to get help instead. Would you rather me be dead right now?" I ask, finally returning her harshness. "I've started to think that that wouldn't be the worst thing for me." She replied.

That comment struck something in me. It hurt. It burned. "Well, that can be arranged. Go fuck yourself Jauregui." I bump into her shoulder as I pass to walk out. "You wouldn't do it. You're too big of a pussy." She yells as I slam her door shut. Damn.

Who even was she anymore? That was not the girl I fell in love with. Whoever that girl in there was was a monster. The worst part is that I contemplated doing it just because she said I should.

I decided to go back to Dinah. I was afraid to be alone right now because I couldn't trust myself. As I drove to Dinah's place I contemplated wrapping my car around a pole, but I couldn't stoop back into that way of thinking. I almost crashed because of the tears in my eyes.

I finally arrived at Dinah's, and when she opened the door I knew she could tell I had been crying. She pulled me into a hug before bringing me inside. "What happened?" She asked sweetly. "Lauren happened." I sighed shakily, telling her the story of how my first time seeing the girl I loved in months went.

After I finished, Dinah began fuming. "She said what?" She growled. "Imma go oved there right now and beat her pale ass..." Dinah stood up, and before I could stop her, her phone began ringing. She made eye contact with me after seeing who it was and answered, putting the phone on speaker.

"What the fuck do you want?" Dinah answered harshly. "Dinah? Thank god you answered. Camila came by earlier and I said some really mean things. I didn't mean to, it just happened. I drank to much. But she left, and I'm scared she's going to do something. I don't have any way to contact her. Please, please check on her?" Lauren cried into the phone. The girl was sobbing uncontrollably.

I could see Dinah's expression soften as she looked over to me. "I'm so scared right now Dinah. Please? I don't want anything to happen to her." Lauren bawled into the phone at Dinah's silence. "Lo, she's alright, okay? She's here with me right now." Dinah spoke into the phone, and Lauren's sigh of relief was very audible.

"Okay. I'm gonna go now." She said, and hung up. "What just happened?" I questioned Dinah, who looked as confused as I felt. "Do you think she might still have feelings for you?" Dinah asked, and I shook my head. "I caught Brad leaving her place before I showed up." I said, looking down. It really hurt to know that she moved on so fast. And the things she said flowed so easily out of her mouth that I don't even know what to think.

#ifoundcamila started trending after I let Dinah take a selfie with me to post on twitter. I even let her explain the whole situation. Well, almost the whole situation. It felt good to be back.

I definitely wasn't expecting this to be ranked in #camren at all and now it's been #6 for so long.... That's just crazy. Thanks guys