The Life and Death of Girl Unknown (UNDER REVISION AND EDITING)

Chapter 46: Praying.

Juice

There she was. Maria Louise Sullivan. White has never been her ideal colour but a black floor length maxi skirt and with a black racer back tank top seemed to do the trick. Hell, she looked even more beautiful in her natural attire. And there she was, kneeling in the grass with our children. Beau was sitting up, leaning against Maria's stomach with her tiny feet in the grass. Maria held her close to keep the baby's neck supported. Her big brown eyes staring at the lush lawn of her new front yard with wonderment beaming in them. My little girl was already a month old and she discovers something new every day. It's always fun to rediscover the world for the third time. But it's different with Beau, I'm actually here most of the time. Sure, with Percy and Daylon I was there but I was so busy with the club that I didn't get a chance to watch them discover things they same way I'm witnessing Beau discover things. I'm also able to watch her grow. She looks just like my mom and sisters when they were little girls. But I can see something deep in her dolly brown eyes, something that belongs to Maria. That terrifies me but it also makes me extremely proud. My daughter will be as strong willed and independent as her mother.

Daylon was right next to Maria, standing on his own two feet without any help from anyone. I still hate every fiber of my being for missing so much of his life in the beginning. He needed me to be there and I wasn't. Percy needed me to be there and I wasn't. Maria needed me most of all and I just left her high and dry. I don't know what I've done to deserve such a wonderful woman, she doesn't deserve me. She deserves someone better than me. In Daylon's grubby little hands was a metal toy car that once was Percy's. The baby fat that once made him look so young and innocent was melting away with the days. His once round cheeks were narrowing, his features were becoming more defined. And his hair, it's wild dark brown locks that twist and twirl all over the place. He definitely has the Puerto Rican hair.

And right there with his mom and younger brother and sister was my pride and joy, my first boy, my first baby; Percy. He held toys for his little brother as he loomed over the younger, protecting him from the sunshine. Every time I look at Percy my heart breaks a little more. I've never felt so guilty in all my life. I ruined my son's innocence, his childhood; and for what? Nothing that made sense. He got caught up in something very real and he didn't deserve that. I know he worries Maria, he worries me too. Percy and Abel are the next generation of Sons. Tara and Maria never want that for their boys, Jax and I don't want it either. But with everything that's happened over the years, we're driving those boys directly into the arms of the Club. If not the Sons then another M.C. But I see something in him. I know Percy can take that rage and pain and turn it into something good instead of doing what I do. He's a protector. It's obvious with how he watches over Daylon and Beau. He makes sure they're okay before he makes sure he's comfortable. Daylon has to be asleep before Percy can even try to sleep. And when Beau cries Percy is there making sure she's okay. Percy is the protector of the house when I'm not there, and even when I am there. I forced him to grow up too fast. I forced my child to be an adult.

There they were, the family I never thought I'd have. It's little and a bit broken but it's my family, the one I built myself but with the help of the woman I love more than anything else. My two boys and my little girl, and my beautiful wife. I couldn't believe we just got married. It doesn't feel like anything's changed. I still love Maria with every single fiber of my being, I still have a huge amount of respect for her and I'm still the happiest man I've ever been. The only difference is she shares my last name now. Maria Louise Ortiz. Yeah, I like the sound of that. It's moments like these that make me think of something Maria would write about. She'd be so articulate with the words and how she wanted them to make the picture. She'd sound madly in love with the peaceful chaos that is our lives. She'd tell a story about something she did in the past that reminded her of that moment, and then she'd give the best advice anyone could receive.