MIXED EMOTIONS

9. FIRST HEARTBREAK

Since school is just around the corner, I decide to go for a little shopping spree for my senior year. Polaris Mall is my first stop. I made my way through the big crowds of people scattered around the mall entrance and looked for a store worth shopping at.

While I went in to Macy's, I saw someone leaning against the front of the food court with his arms around a girl, laughing and talking to the other people around them. He's tall, hair full of waves, and has cocoa colored skin. He looks really familiar, but I wasn't sure if I knew him.

So I walked towards the food court and sure enough, I knew this boy. He's my boyfriend. The boyfriend who was supposed to be 'shooting hoops' and chilling with his friends. Shooting hoops with your friends doesn't involve wrapping your hands around another girl, while your girlfriend is somewhere with no plans.

I wanted to be wrong,and make false accusations. I walked up closer to them and surely enough, it was Jayden. I felt my heart drop to my stomach, and suddenly I had the urge to cry. But I knew I couldn't. Not here at least.

I knew I couldn't lose it here at the mall, so I played it cool. I tapped him on the shoulder. He didn't budge. I tapped him again, he turned around and stammered on his words when he saw who it was.

"C-C-Chanel? What are you doing here?" He said, quickly removing his hands away from the girl's waist. I gave him a hostile stare.

"No! I think the question is what are you doing here, with her?"

"What are you talking about?" Now he was going to play stupid? Well, I'm not falling for it. I know what I saw.

I chuckled, "What? You think I didn't just see you all over her?"

"Who?" I didn't have time for this. I wasn't going to let him play me like this. "Who? You think I'm that naive? Well, since you want to kick it with other people then you might as well be single!" I said yelling on the top of my lungs, making people turn and stare. A couple of oohs came from the crowd.

I turned to leave,but he grabbed my arm. "I'm sorry, baby. It wasn't-"

I cut him off, "No! I don't want to hear it. We. Are. Over." I pulled my arm out of his grasp and sped off, leaving him running after me trying to catch up.

I reached the parking lot, found my car, and hopped in. By now, Jayden lost me in the midst of shoppers. Now he's blowing up my phone apologizing and asking about my whereabouts.

I drove the twenty-five minute drive in tears with the music turned up to the loudest volume it could go. I couldn't keep my mind of Jayden and his little affair at the mall, but I kept on replaying the scene over and over again in my head. Still, I managed to drive home safely without losing control of the car.

As soon as I got home, I found Lexi sitting on my porch. I guess she was waiting on me, but why? We weren't on speaking terms. More like she wasn't on speaking terms with me. I parked in the driveway, made my way up the three stairs and on the porch.

"Where have you been? You know how long I've been waiting here for you? I asked your mother and Charles where you were, and of course they had no idea!" Lexi said all in one breath. All I could do was smile. She finally came around.

"Are you gonna just stand there or are you gonna let me in? Cause this heat is too much..." She continued on, while I opened the door, and the cool air brushed against our bodies, relieving us from the heat.

When she finally took a breath and plopped down on the couch, I stated to apologize, "Listen, Lexi. I didn't mean to play you that day, I just thought-"

"That you could spend the day with both of us, so you wouldn't have to choose, but I ended up feeling like a third wheel, so I asked you to take me home, blah, blah. It's cool." I knew she was being a little sarcastic with her accepting my apology, but I didn't care. That's who she was. We stood there in silence for a moment, exchanged glances then we both fell out laughing, wrapping ourselves in a sisterly hug.

How could I ever make my best friend feel so neglected because of my cheating ex-boyfriend? I felt horrible but I tried to smile, but a tear managed to escape the corners of my eyes and streaked my cheeks.

"I know I've been ignoring you, but you don't have to cry, Chanel."

I shook my head and hung my head low, "I'm sorry." She looked at me confused, and asked, "What's wrong.Tell me."

I wiped the tears out of my face and managed to say, "I ended things with Jayden."

She eyebrow drew together, "Because of me? But why?"

"It's not because of you, I just had to end it." Lexi rolled her eyes and demanded for more. I gave a run-through about the whole cheating scandal that went on at the mall.

"I knew he was a dirty..." The rest of it was full of cursing and threats. "You better not go back to him or I'm-"

"No, I'm not going back to him." I said cutting her off.

She narrowed her eyes at me, deciding if she should believe me or not. I wasn't sure if I believed my own words.

The door bell rung and I looked over at Lexi, who had her face glued to her phone, to see if she would be kind enough to get the door. It rung again. She looked up and said, "Go get it, it's your house, anyways." then went back to the phone.

Irritated, I go to downstairs and open the door to Jayden.

I rolled my eyes and started to close the door, but he stopped it with his foot. "I just need-" He started, but I stopped him. "Leave. You need to leave."

I try closing the door and he stopped it again.

"Please, just one second." I sighed, stepped back and letting him in.

"What happened at the mall was not what you though it was, I was just-" I put up my hand, to silence him, "No, I know what you were doing. I saw you."

"It wasn't like that at all."

"Then what was it like?" I went to sit down on a love seat in the living room, and Jayden followed, still trying too explain himself to me. "I was only giving her a hug, that's it. It was nothing extreme. You know I would never do that to you, baby."

I wasn't buying any of it. Why won't he just admit to being a cheater, instead of telling me his 'version' of what he was doing?

"A hug? I'm not stupid, Jayden! I saw what I saw and you knew what you were doing." I snapped. He grabs my hand and I yanked it away.

"Yes, a hug! I wouldn't do you like that." He said, with a serious face. Was he serious?

"You did to me like that. You're a cheater! I know what I saw. I said we were over and that's that!" I yelled

"What's going on here?" That was Lexi. I hadn't have heard when she came down the stairs.

"Nothing," I responded. Then Jayden looks me in the eyes and says, "If that's what you want, then fine." he shrugged, and brushed past me and he was out the door.

A tear streaked my cheeks and I could feel a whole river coming along. Why didn't he fight for me harder? I mean, I know I wanted to end things, but I wanted him to fight for me and our relationship. Not just accept that I said we were over.

For the rest of the night, Lexi to sleep over, and stayed up planning the up coming school year. While I listen to her crazy plans for school, my mind drifts off to Jayden and our break up. I checked my phone over a million times and there's no calls or texts from him, nor my so-called parents. That's not surprising.

The more I think about them, the more I feel alone. Without my best friends, who would I have? Nobody. Just me, myself and I.