You're Not Yourself

Behind Smiles are Frowns

When I was a child I was happiest kid you could have ever met, during that time though I was also desperate to find friends, my mother always told me that I was easy and lit giving with people and that when ever I was out on vacation there would always be somebody I become friends with. That is in fact very true but when your become friends with me there might be apart of me that Hides the real Sergey today. I'm shy when I comes to meeting new people so I might just say hello and how are you but if you teach me something and want to get to know me more I might go into and tell you my life story behind my name. I would explain to people of how I was adopted from Russia and what not, if you don't like to be open that much with people and you like to talk about that stuff later In life that's completely under your control and absolutely understandable, not everyone has to be the same.

Now recently I've been really admiring this teacher for 4 years now, finding him as a father figure in my life or a role model most people might like to say. I don't know, he just has that spark that can make me be myself around him, but there's other days where I don't exactly let him know how I'm feeling but just in case of you were wondering I'm sad during those current days. He doesn't know that because I'm holding a smile in front of him. It's easy to trick people in letting them know when your happy but deep down your sad. Sometimes your afraid of what that person might think of you if you tell them what going through your mind and it might turn out either awkward or funny.

I articulated him my situation I was in from last summer to him about how I prank called his house, being the stupid teen I was being those days, along with a person I was really close to who've I lost during my senior year.

During that month before telling him my situation I found out that he was moving out of my neighborhood which really upset me because when I first found out that he was living in my neighborhood I knew to could be more neighborly to him but that ended up to be really nothing during my junior year with me seeing him drive to the high school I would see him and at times would wave hello as I waited for my BOCES bus, sometimes I would even see him 20 minutes before I'm all the way up the hill with him getting the newspaper and getting ready for work with him already dressed and ready to go.

Junior year was pretty hectic for me and the person I was once friends with, that person would hangout with me everyday that year through riding a bike to driving a car to my block just to see if this teacher was home, but it wasn't always about him that person would just come by to see how I doing and we'd go on with our long conversations and play little games like red hands, toss the football or Kiss Marry Kill.

This person would talk about teachers that person liked or a boy in our school who that person thought was cute.

Those are mostly things I can remember doing during my junior year of high school.

But I honestly don't know where I went with this chapter, you know me a bit more now that I've told you

Whatever is stopping you from being happy don't let it affect you because at the end of the day you'll realize that tomorrow will better and even excitingly adventurous, well if your outgoing like me of course, then again there are times I tend to stay inside and watch Netflix movies or a tv series I need to catch up on.
Sorry got off track😁
What I'm saying is that whatever you're feeling throughout the day maybe something your not comfortable sharing is okay, sometimes you have embraced that feeling and show it to the world to either feel better and not let it affect you as much as it was before.

"Don't worry, Be happy"🎤

-Serg