You're Not Yourself

Weak Inside, Stronger in the End

Do I just sit and not fight back for this lost piece I've been wanting back for a very long time? or do I just let nature go it's course and end up finding somebody who can replace this miss piece? Everything that has been happening is making things abit off with my life, I have a freshman who practically replaced that one person I truly still miss to this day, no matter how many dumb stupid things we've said to each other I'll always forgive her and I hope one day she can forgive me.

Currently that person I miss isn't the person I find very influencing with the way this person acted towards me in senior year. Everyday I struggled in high school trying not to talk to her. Everything seemed so wrong, but right at the same time because I was slowly backing away from the drama I've had received so many times in high school by this person, that I've became immune to the none sense this person talks about now.

I've apologized one last time on the 4th of July getting a threat from this person saying that if I try to contact that person again they will get the law involved and I was just shocked and appalled as to why this person would say such a thing. I cared for this person for so long and was there for them whenever they were going through some tough shit.

This person was there for me too in a way, but all is lost at this point and I have a person who filled in that missing piece, it's just once in awhile I would begin to slowly come back to thinking about this person who've I've been best friends for a long time.

That person made me weak inside at one pint in my life where I felt miserable just being around that person, maybe only because we were so much alike each other that we ended up got sick with each other, so we take a break and then get back to the friendly fun moments we made on and off like a light switch.

We motivated each other to do things we normally wouldn't try like track and field, I encouraged that person to do that sport with me for a year or two and that person did it and whenever I didn't feel like showing up to practice this person was the only person who could persuade me to go, but once senior year came around and we were no longer friends and that person stopped showing up to track and field I ended up not doing as good as I use too, I didn't show up to a lot of practices either, and even missed a few meets with the team.
Every time I ran, knowing that this person is no longer there to see me run this race, it made me have try harder and it was struggling for me, but slowly I just did what I had to and talked to different people distracting myself with all that was going on for me.

I couldn't enjoy my senior year without talking to this one person and I hated that, this person ignored me and played like a popular person in school thinking they were all that with the friends she made and even try to make me feel more miserable by hanging out with my ex-girlfriend but I stuck by the ones I cared and thought about like teachers who I looked up to and the grades I needed to get into a good college.

Overall, I've sorta outgrown this person to this day and yet people say that I haven't changed one bit which is good because there is no way in hell I'll change for somebody who's put me through hell and chaos as much as I wanted to I've decided to move on with the new friends I make in work and college, surely enough everything's great and I love how my life is no much hate this person I'll always have in my heart gives.