supernatural x reader

How can you like me~Sam x reader

Warning- Hatred of self and some mention of self harm. I DO NOT support self harm mentally or physically. I also don't think any of the stuff that is in this story, I think people are strong and humanity is messed up but, this is just for the story. Thank you...

I hate myself, probably more than anyone else has ever hated themselves. I can't see why anyone would love me, let alone like me. People say I'm beautiful inside and out, but what I see is an ugly girl who has mental and physical scars. Scars that are visible are for people to see my pain and weakness, while my mental scars are there to remind me that I am weak and I'm useless.

I'm starting to like myself a little bit ever since I met the Winchesters. Remember how I said I can't see anyone liking me, well, I like Sam Winchester. I'm back to that problem and I'm starting to throw myself at any monster we come in contact to. It seems like the boys have had enough of me doing it, especially Sam.

"How could you do that Y/n," Sam yelled at me as soon as we got back into the motel room, "I thought you would plan this out better and not fight every vamp there."

"Well, I'm sorry Sam that you didn't get to fight more vampires than what you wanted to ass-butt."

"Did you just pull a Cas," Sam pointed at me as he squinted his eyes.

"Yes I did," I collapsed on the hard bed, "Look, I have to get my anger out sometimes."

"Anger out," his eyebrows raised, "who were you angry at, the vamps, because obviously none of them said anything before you cut ninety-nine percent of the vamps heads off."

"Sam don't be silly," I sat up on the bed and crossed my legs, "I wasn't mad at the vamps, I was mad at my-"

"Y/n," Dean cut me off, "being mad at someone doesn't give you the reason to act like this. You jumped at everything we hunted for the last three months with everything you got. You came back to the bunker with broken ribs and a sprained ankle and you still hunted two days later. You're one tough son of a bitch because I wouldn't of been able to do that."

"I guess what Dean and I are trying to say is," Sam looked into my eyes as he talked and brought butterflies to my stomach, "you need a break. You look horrible right now, Y/n, you look sick."

"Nothing will fix me," a tear went down my cheek.

"Yes we can," Dean said, "all you need to do i-"

"No, it's more complicated than that," more tears came down my face, "It's me, don't you get it, I hate myself, I'm always mad at myself. I hate how I'm not as pretty as any of the other girls or how they're better in every way and I'm just a nobody who gets in peoples way. I started to go after evrything we've hunted because I wanted to make myself useful, I wanted to feel needed, I wanted to feel loved once in my life. I wanted the other hunters to tell stories about me like how they do about you guys. I didn't want to be known as the girl who traveled with the Winchesters or the unknown girl who nobody cared about or loved."

"Y/n, that's not true," Sam said.

"Really Sam," I jumped up off of the old mattress, "because when we go somewhere and work with other hunters they never know who I am. They always say, 'whoa, Sam and Dean Winchester. You guys are legends and you are,' Y/n freaking L/n. The one who travels with the Winchesters and have a huge crush on the youngest on-" I stop with my rambling as soon as I realized what I said, "shit, Y/n. You spilled your feelings out to Sam Winchester, good job."

Dean patted Sam's back, "Well, Sam likes you too and I'm gonna get pie," and with that Dean left.

"You like me back," Sam smiled at me, "how?"

"Y/n, if only you knew how beautiful you really are. Everyone can see it, so why can't you."

"You're amazing Sam, everyone can see it but you can't. It's the same thing. We all can't see what other people can see. I see my flaws and you see yours. Humans are weak-"

"But they can also be strong," Sam interrupted me, "you're strong, I'm strong, we're all strong."

Sam walked over and held me in his arms. I grabbed onto his flannel and cried in it. "How are you so sure that people are strong?"

"Love," he smiled down at me, "love is what makes us strong."

"I love you Sam," I looked up at him and he wiped a tear off my face with his thumb.

"I love you too," then he leaned down and kissed me.

A/n- remember to comment, vote, and request. Love you my lil pandas 🐼...