supernatural x reader

Drunk Ex (Dean)

It was one of those days, I had nothing to do. No hunts, I wasn't in the mood for bars or getting hit on, and I didn't want to stay in a musty motel. Then, I decided to see if the boys were home. Yes... Dean and I dated and we are broken up, but we decided to stay friends. Technically he did, I was always friends with Sammy and I wasn't loosing my best friend.

I pulled up to the Bunker instantly regretting my decision to come, then I heard a flutter of wings. "Are you just going to sit here and stare at the door?" Cass asked.

"I'm building up the courage to go in," I was mostly convincing myself than him though.

"Just walk in, I know they both miss you," his eye brows were raised like he was waiting for a reaction of some sort.

"Okay," I stared at the door some more. "Will you walk in with me?" I asked him. He nodded in agreement, then I opened the car door.

My hands started to shake as I walked towards the door. I wondered what Dean will think of me now, I've changed since the breakup. At first training was all that got me through the break up, then booze, and now the most risky hunts I can find by myself. It's been six months and I'm still not over him. As much as I would love for us to get back together I can't trust him anymore and nor can I go through all that pain again.

Cass opened the Bunker door for me and closed it behind me once I went through it. The Bunker hasn't changed a bit. The library is messy from all the books lying around. Sam was probably researching something and forgot to put stuff back.

"HELLO?" I yelled out.

I heard a rustle come from the kitchen as I saw Sam, as tall as ever, come out and greet me. "Y/n!" He ran over, pulling me in to a tight bearhug. "It's so good to see you!"

"You too Sammy," I coughed out.

"What's all the yelling about?" Dean asked as he cut the corner from the hallway. "Oh hey."

"Hey," The awkwardness was killing you.

"So what have you been up to?" Sam broke the tension in the room.

"Uh, just been here and there, you know. Taking as many hunts as I possibly can. I've had a few fli-"

"You want a beer?" Dean cut me off.

"Uh no thanks, but I've taken out a couple Vamps, a wendigo, and a couple werewolves. How about you guys, I've heard you saved the world?"

"Oh gosh, yeah it was a lot to handle with," Sam smiled at me.

"Nah it wasn't too much for us Sammy," Dean walked in all cocky with a beer in his hand, "We could handle it."

"We did handle it... barley. We could've used Y/n though."

"Oh no, never. I would just get in the way," I giggled.

A few hours have passed and Dean was sitting across from me in the library with a whisky bottle while Sam sat next to me. Dean was a little tipsy, I mean as tipsy as tipsy can be.

"I really did miss you Y/n," Sam said.

"I missed you too, but it is what it is Sammy," I shrugged my shoulders.

Sam's phone rang next to him with the caller ID that said Jody Mills. "I better take that, I'll be right back." He grabbed his phone and went into the kitchen. I smiled until I heard the chair beside me creek and little.

Dean took Sam's spot, "I've missed you Y/n!"

I could smell the whisky on his breath as he talked to me. "Dean, you broke up with me. You shouldn't miss me."

"But I do. I didn't leave you because I didn't love you. I left because I thought I was doing you a favor, I thought I was protecting you." He what?

"You SON OF A BITCH!" I yelled, "You left me because you thought it was better for me? You aren't the one to make that decision for me, I make that! How dare you Dean Winchester!"

"I wanted you to have a better life, that apple pie life you always wanted," he leaned on your shoulder.

"That didn't work Dean."

"And why not?" he asked.

"Because I wanted that life with you, not just anybody. You're such a dumbass!" My voice kept getting louder.

Dean's arm snaked around my waist and he started kissing my neck. "I just wanted to help."

"Dean stop," I grunted trying to push him off.

"Just one more time? Please? Just one last kiss?" he asked with his puppy eyes both brother inherited from their father.

I felt myself inch towards him, my lips brushing his as I realized what was happening. I pulled away, "Dean I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because you hurt me, you broke me," I felt the tears weld in my eyes. "I fought everything I came across. My best friend is alcohol and I can barely sleep. If I'm not hunting I'm training. If I'm not training I'm hunting. That's how it is now. I'm not the same girl you knew six months ago. I've changed more than what you will ever know."

"I was trying to help you though," Dean started to cry. I haven't seen him cry since Sam went to Lucifer's cage. "I wanted to protect you from all this. I wanted you to have the man of your dreams with those two kids you always talk about. I wanted you to be able to have a normal life with a normal family. I was just trying to help, I never wanted to hurt you."

"Dean you're drunk, you don't know what you're saying."

"But I do. I never wanted to let you go, you were the best thing that ever happened to me. Ask Sammy, I've been a mess since you've been gone," I couldn't hold back my tears anymore and Dean reached up to wipe them away from my cheeks. "I was stupid enough to let you go, please come back to me."

"You want me to come back?" I asked shocked. "I don't think so Dean."

"But-"

"But nothing, I don't want to be together with someone who makes decisions for me. Thank you for all the memories Dean, but we both need to move on and find other people who make us happier."

Dean kneeled next to my chair, "You made me happy though, no one has made me happier than you Y/n."

"Then you shouldn't have let me go Dean Winchester." I got up to go look for Sam leaving Dean all alone on the floor.

I turned the corner towards the kitchen to find Sam standing by the doorway.

"How much of that did you hear?" I asked.

"Enough to know that Dean tried to apologize," He cleared his throat.

"Are you taking his side?"

"I'm not taking any side, but he admitted he was wrong. You didn't forgive him though, which makes me realize my brother is the bigger person." He crossed his arms and shook his head.

"I can't just go back to him after he hurt me and made me wonder what the hell I did wrong Sam. He broke me, I haven't been the same ever since," I whispered.

"So I heard, but you have to realize he was hurting too. He wouldn't get out of bed for weeks. He barely ate and he woke up screaming your name almost every day. He's had nightmares about you ever since you left. Do you understand how much both of you hurt each other," Sam gritted his teeth.

"Yes I do, that's why we need to see other people. I'm sorry Sam, I will always love your brother, but we broke each other. We aren't the same people we were when we first started dating."

"You two are perfect for each other, you guys are just too hurt to see it," Sam rubbed his temples.

"Maybe one day we will see it, but right now I think we should not be around each other for a while. I'm so sorry Sam, I really am. Until then I'll see you later," I threw a weak smile at him and walked towards the library again.

Dean was gone from the floor, probably in his room. I grabbed my things and left the bunker for what I think will be the last time.