Halfpenny OC Reviews

Samantha Puckett

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Fandom: Inspired by iCarly but is completely different so it doesn't matter.

So it's a spin-off of iCarly?

It's been so long since I last saw iCarly, but I remember watching all of the episodes on Netflix with my siblings. We also watch Grossology, and Avatar: The Last Airbender. Good times, good times. *ahem* Oops, I'm rambling.

Name/Nickname: PoV changes throughout, but is mostly Samantha (Sam) Puckett so I'll use her for the following questions.

You don't need to mention the POV changes (side note, since my inner writer is demanding it; if you have more than two characters who hold POV throughout the story, then your story should be in 3rd person instead of 1st). Does Sam have a middle name?

Age: 17

Mary-sue age, but I think it matches the actual Sam Puckett's age (I can't remember for sure though).

Gender/Sexuality: Female/Straight

I'm cringing and it has nothing to do with Sam's gender/sexuality in this instance. Let's just say, I stumbled upon a slash fic where Sam was intersex and that's all I can think of right now. I'm sorry, I need a minute to go re-bleach my brain.

Appearance: Blue eyes, blonde curly hair, Pale, Edgy

Tall, short? Fat, skinny? Cleft lip? What does she wear? Jewellery? I am not familiar enough with the term 'edgy' to translate it into an appearance, you should assume that nobody reading your story knows what 'edgy' is, and adjust your description thusly. Show me she's edgy instead of simply telling me she's edgy.

Personality: Tomboy, Damaged

I'll let the Tomboy part slide because it's true to the original character, but I want to pick on the damaged part. There is so much you could do with that if you understand what 'damaged' means. 'Damaged' could be spitting venom at the teachers and getting detention every day, 'damaged' could be hiding behind your hair and flinching when someone's voice gets too loud-- even if they aren't angry, 'damaged' could be totally normal except for that one weird habit of glancing over your shoulder all the time because you never know when the demonman is coming back. In what way is Sam damaged? How does this damage spill over to other parts of her personality?

Speaking of which, what are the other parts of her personality? She can't just be a damaged tomboy, there's not enough substance there to create a whole character.

Backstory: Abusive home life, bully

'Bully' as in she was bullied, or 'bully' as in she was the bully? Because that difference is small, but distinct.

If you're going to have an abused character, you have to research abuse. Abuse is a serious subject, you cannot use it flippantly. There are three major types of abuse (Emotional, Physical, and Sexual), research all of them and pick which one(s) you want to use, then research your pick(s) more in-depth. If you can, read accounts of people who have experience abuse.

Also understand that people have different reactions to abuse.

Powers: N/A

M'kay.

Strengths: Strongwilled, Determined, Protects the things she loves

That last one conflicts with her persona. What exactly does she love? And what motivation does she have to protect it?

Weaknesses: Abuse, depression

Returning to my previous comment on people reacting differently; not everybody who is abused is depressed. Take Adam Parrish from The Raven Cycle, for example, he comes from an abusive home situation, but he is not in any way depressed, he does however, struggle with self-worth and identity. You have to research the topic you're writing about, and make informed decisions about the character and how she interacts with the world.

Other: N/A

Okie dokie then,

.: Score and Feedback :.

Originality Score: 5%: I have seen ten million damaged, abused, depressed characters. A majority of which are female high school students. There is nothing about this character that sets her apart, there is nothing that breaks cliche, she's a Mary Sue. iCarly is an interesting fandom to use though, very old school.

Interest Score: 0%: I do not want to read this character. This character type was borderline interesting the first, maybe, two times I read her in a wattpad book ('her' referring to the abused Mary Sue, not the iCarly Sam Puckett), but it's old and cliché now.

Suggestions for Improvement: Research abuse before adding it to your story. Research depression before adding it to your story. Expand your physical description and personality description.

I'm pretty sure it's actually plagiarism to submit this character knowingly as a copy of Sam Puckett, but since it's for a fanfic I'm also pretty sure nobody's going to sue you for it. If you're character is set in a completely different universe than iCarly, then perhaps you should just change all the names and say it's a teen fic rather than a fanfic. I mean, that's just a personal thing for me, I find it better when fanfic stays in it's designated universe.

Also you should probably write in third person. But that has nothing to do with the character. It just makes for a much smoother, better read when there are a lot of POVs.