Halfpenny OC Reviews

Naomi Park

This character was submitted by Bokukkokhmer

Fandom: Original, fantasy dramedy. It's a script that focuses on the Parks, a large, complex extended family of sorcerers, that have a lot of political power in their coven, so of course drama arises, especially between the younger generations as they struggle with hormones and magic, along side trying to maintain a low profile in human society.

Alright, I can get behind that.

Full Name: Naomi Park

No middle name, or title, or...anything? That's fine.

Meaning of Name: Naomi is a feminine name of Hebrew origin meaning "Pleasantness" which is something she lacks, while Park is racially ambiguous, but due to how common it is among people of Korean heritage people assume she's Korean when they hear her name.

I didn't know that about the last name 'Park', I read her name as very European.

Nicknames: Mater (Latin for Mother, her title), kidnapper of men, Eric Lee's captor

Is there a reason that you picked Latin? I know it's not the intent, but I keep picturing Tow Mater from Cars. Also, since Kidnapper of Men is a title it should be capitalized.

Age: 17

Mm... okay.

After reading the rest of this form I have some concerns about this. Primarily the fact that she is married. To her adult teacher. And while I, the reader, know that he is the victim in this situation, characters in the story world won't necessarily know that, and that relationship is sketchy at best. Are those police sirens I hear?

Gender/Sex: Cis Female (She/Her)

Alright, alright, fair. Thank you for including pronouns. 

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Ethnicity and Nationality: Eurasian, American

That explains the name.

Appearance: Like her niece Alexandra, Naomi is half-European and, instead of Vietnamese, she's half-Macanese. Naomi has shorter dark hair, dark eyes, and fair skin. She wears lots of clothing that is a blend of goth and sailor Lolita fashion, Cute.

with accessories that are both cute and grotesque such as a bleeding eyeball ring. She stands 5'0" without her shoes, with shoes she can stand anywhere between 5'3" to 5'6", Damn, those are some tall shoes.

and has a similar build to Alexandra (which is curvy). This would be a lot more informational if I had any idea what Alexandra looked like. I mean, aside from curvy.

Personality: Naomi is a cruel and iron-fisted young woman. She is seventeen.

She is bathed in luxury, and it shows in her overall presentation and attitude. She is vain and proud, and boasts her power and status abundantly. She is Azula.

Naomi's cruelty and arrogance has shown to be even more sinister, as she has been shown fondling (and even sexually assaulting) her husband, whom she kidnapped. Wow, okay, even jumping from Cruel and Unusual that was a turn.

Alexandra describes her as "your typical high school YA novel violent queen bee with the elegance of a snobby princess type". I'm not gonna lie, I cringed reading that. Let's just say I feel a certain way about this trope. The only time I've ever seen it done well was in Heathers (1988).

It is too easy to let Queen Bee characters fall face-first into their own trope and abandon all depth or backbone. If you're going to stick your character with this trope then please, for the love of all that is media, make her a fucking *human being first.