Halfpenny OC Reviews

Serena Anderson

First off, I'm so sorry that this took such a ridiculously long time to complete. I took a long break from this account and I am just now getting things organized enough to get this finished. I don't even know if you're still interesting in having this review, but here it is anyone-- super late but hopefully helpful nevertheless. 

Fandom: Harry Potter

Name: Serena Rose Anderson

Nice name. It's pretty and I assume it fits her ethnicity.

Age: 11-14 (her first four years)

Okay. Fits the story.

Gender: Female

Appearance:

- Age 11: Serena has light blonde hair that reaches her mid. She has ice blue eyes and a fair skin. Aside from her height, which is short for her age, she has a fairly normal built.

- Age 12: Serena hardly changes in the summer, only growing in height.

- Age 13: Serena's hair grows longer and reaches her waist.

- Age 14: Serena's facial structure changes a bit and her skin acquires a slightly pale texture.

The changes to her appearance are realistic but it would be nice to know what her facial structure was like before it changed, and in what ways it changed. Her appearance does err on the side of European perfection. You don't mention what type of hair she has (thick, thin; wavy, straight?), so if I were going to suggest anything it would be to throw in a sentence now and then about her long hair being impossible to brush, or about how it continuously gets caught on stuff and stuck in her lip gloss. Nobody is perfect and that will, hopefully, keep readers from viewing her as impossibly pretty.

Personality: Serena is warm and loving . She is like loyal and hardworking. She is kind, sweet and compassionate. She is quick to forgive others and hates judging others especially if it's based on their houses. She is trustworthy, dependable and responsible. She has the ability to look last people's faults and flaws which makes her a good friend. She is willing to be friends with anyone and everyone.

Serena lets others walk over her and fails to stand up for herself. She does stand up for the people she cares about. She is gullible and trusts people easily. She is sensitive and gets hurt at trivial things, especially her family's economic condition. She is naive and believes others easily but holds her friends and family's word in higher regard.

Serena and Richard are usually on good terms hunt tends to fight when irritated. Serena tends to get annoyed with his overprotective tendencies but enjoys his care nonetheless. She fears he would one day think along the lines of "my sister doesn't need me anymore" and lets him help her with things she could do herself. She is very supportive of her brother.

Serena is protective of her sister and cares for her like any older sister would. They tend to argue over trivial things but always become friends again at the end of the day. They are also supportive of each other. Serena does reprimand her when her cheeky tongue gets too much.

Amber and Serena are good friends and almost never fight. They have their disagreements from time to time, but never let it get in the way of their friendship. They are willing to stand up for each other and always support and comfort each other.

Vanessa and Serena are good friends but she tends to get annoyed with Vanessa's studious personality. Serena tends to get annoyed with their fights

Well, she seems like an angel. I mean, beyond her getting annoyed at her siblings and being spineless in the absence of her friends or family. I'm not sure this is enough to keep her from being a Mary Sue. I mean, unless the main conflict of the story revolves around her gulliblness/naiveness (which it totally could).

Backstory: Serena lives in Fish Street in London, a place for poor people. She had a relatively normal life for a witch from a poor family. Her first accidental magic was hanging her sister by her ankles in one of their arguments at the age of five. She was excited for her brother when he received a letter but missed him a lot band write to him any time she could.

Okay, anything else? How does being from a poor family effect her, what trouble might this have caused and how might this trouble have shaped her? This backstory feels very incomplete.

  Strengths: Loyalty, dependability, responsibility, Transfiguration, Care of Magical Creatures, defensive spells, Charms. 

Weakness: Shy, timid, Herbology, gullible, naive, Potions, offensive spells. 

Okay, fair. 

Other: Serena used to do small jobs around her home to support her family but stoped when her parents advised against it.

Why did her parents advise her to stop? What reason would they have for that? This is something that belongs in the backstory with a hell of a lot more explanation.

Familial relations:

- Richard Anderson (older brother, gryffindor)

- Riley Anderson (little sister, gryffindor)

- Colin Anderson (father)

- Amelia Anderson (mother)

Best friends:

- Amber Frost (OC, hufflepuff)

- Vanessa O'Neil (OC, ravenclaw)

- Astoria Greengrass (slytherine)

House: Hufflepuff

Cool, Hufflepuff is a pretty rare house to find OC's in.