Halfpenny OC Reviews

Russell Hartley

This  character was submitted by: FormerlyOcto

Fandom: Original fantasy thing. I'm bad with names, so I still need to name it. It's about a tribe of deerfolk out in the woods.

I am also terrible at naming things, I feel your pain. But this sounds super interesting!

Name/Nickname: Russell William Hartley, a.k.a. Russ.

Nice, this is definitely a nature-y name, it fits the character well.

Age: 20

Okie.

Gender/Sexuality: Cis male (he/him pronouns), heterosexual.

Cool.

Appearance: Russell is a deer/human hybrid, kinda like a centaur but with deer. His top (human) half has pale, light skin. There are freckles across his face, down the top side of his arms, and a few are scattered on his back. He has chocolate brown eyes and short red-orange hair. He has a deerlike nose and ears, and there are two white antlers growing from the back of his head. There is a fluffy white ruff of fur around his neck, which thickens in winter and thins out in summer. Russell's bottom half is pretty much just a deer body with light brown fur, a white underbelly, and a few white spots along his flank.

Honestly, Russ sounds adorable. There are, of course, different things you'll have to think about as you go along, and you'll have to point out in your writing certain things that Russ and the other deerfolk do differently from normal humans in order to make them feel more real to the readers. Where do they live and what kind of housing do they have? What do they eat? What are some perks of being part deer, and what are some difficulties?

Personality: Russell is very kind and caring, but has difficulty making friends as he is a bit shy and even nervous around new people (the reason for this will be given in the backstory). As you can probably guess, he is an introvert. While he spends a lot of time alone, he is very curious about the world and is always trying to learn new things. He is also very loyal to any and all friends he has and might make in the future, as one of his biggest fears is finding himself without anyone to turn to in hard times.

This all fits together nicely, and I like that you have a quieter, calmer male character than a lot of writers. The only thing I feel should be pointed out is that Russell seems like he might be a tad immature and clingy. This doesn't have to be a bad thing, you can use it in your writing as something for him to improve on throughout the story (character development ftw), but if that's not something you're interested in then just be careful how you write him. I see quite a few characters who end up a smidge too whiny to be identifiable.

Backstory: Russell has had his curiosity with him ever since he was a child. In fact, he had a penchant to just wander off exploring sometimes. He often was more focused on having fun and finding things out than anything else at the time. When the adults of his little deerfolk tribe were teaching something, Russell was often the only kid paying attention. He found the lessons fascinating, rather than boring. His peers took notice of this. As young children do, they made fun of him for being a nerd. Russell started spending less time around other children and didn't like talking to new people. His parents, naturally, did their best to help him. He did make a few friends, but he stayed introverted. Now, as a young adult, he is training to become a teacher for his tribe so he may pass along what he has learned.

Let me take a minute to say how glad I am that you made this character's backstory realistic. Make sure you don't overdo the teasing from the other children, otherwise this is great.

Strengths: Russell is intelligent and very caring about the people close to him. He also has decent experience in archery, as it was his favourite subject as a child.

This fits with everything else you've written so far.

Weaknesses: Because of his curiosity, Russell has occasionally accidentally wandered into dangerous situations. He has also got lost exploring before. His shyness can also make him reluctant to reach out to people in case they don't care about him or the like.

Good weaknesses.

Other: When Russell is nervous, you can usually tell. He plays with the ruff of fur around his neck and sometimes doesn't even realize it until you tell him. Russell also enjoys making crafts as a hobby. He builds little sculptures out of sticks, scratches pictures onto pieces of bark, and even makes flower crowns from time to time.

Aw, that's cute.

.: Scores and Feedback :.

Originality Score: 95%- This character has a lot of potential and you've clearly put a lot of thought into him.

Interest Score: 100%- I would love to read this story. Like seriously is it up on wattpad?

Suggestions for improvement: If you can't already tell, I don't really see much to improve with this character as far as writing goes. You can give some thought into developing the culture of his deerfolk and how it functions, you should also keep an eye on his maturity so it doesn't tip so far in either direction that he loses his identifiability. Other than that, keep up the good work, and I wish you the best of luck!

A/N: I dunno what the hell Wattpad is doing with this formatting, but I can't fix it so...

Oh, never mind, it fixed itself, okay.