Silver's Effect

Koyuki

a heavy sigh escaped my lips as i looked up at my typically empty house. 

two cars where in the driveway and the living room light was on alerting me of someone's presence.

my hands clenched into fists as i watched a shadow pass by the window seemingly unaware of my still figure just inside the yard.

should i go in?

my feet itched to turn the other way and run but seemed glued to the spot as i watched the shadow pass again.

the curtains moved slightly and i could feel a pair of eyes land on me from inside the house. 

my time to make a decision was up.

stiffly i stepped towards my house. 

as i reached the door i could feel my heart squeeze with the anxiety of knowing what i would find on the inside.

slowly my hand turned the doorknob and i pushed the door open. 

"Koyumi, darling! i was wondering when you would be home!" a cheerful female voice called.

i flinched back as the woman wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug before stepping back and looking me over.

i took the time to take in her appearance as well.

she had the same long silvery grey hair as me but her eyes were a pretty pastel green color; she had a slim body shape and was only slightly taller than me as she kissed my cheek and said "my you've grown my dear!"

i forced a smile as i politely said "you look lovely mother!"

it was true that she looked lovely in her designer pants suit, but she somehow seemed intimidating despite the sweet smile on her face as she thanked me and laughed.

before anymore could be said a man walked into the room with the same grey blue eyes as mine.

he was a slim sort of muscular and had a stern looking face that broke into a smile when he saw me. 

"Koyumi my girl! you have gotten even more beautiful since the last time i saw you!" he said as a lump rose in my throat.

i nodded and said "thank you father, you look good as well!"

he enveloped me in a hug and i squeezed my eyes shut tightly in order to not let the tears building up behind my eyes to show. 

once he let go of me he asked "so how is your music coming along?"

i gulped but pulled my notebook out nonetheless and handed it to him. 

he flipped through the paged, not seeming to really read the music before looking up at me with sharp eyes.

"why are you slacking Koyumi?" his tone had dropped into a dangerously angry one.

i looked down at my feet in shame and said nothing, after all if i said anything it would only make thing worse for me.

he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as he asked "i thought you wanted to be the best musician in japan koyumi?"

i flinched again.

i wish he would stop calling me that.

both of them.

but i know they can't.

denial is a very strange thing indeed.

"Are you even listening to him koyumi?" mother called in a slightly angry tone as she stepped to his side with her hands on her hips.

slowly i looked up to see both of their disappointed faces staring down at me.

 she gave an irritated sigh before saying "i swear, you won't get anywhere at the rate you're going koyumi."

i looked back down as i clasped my shaky hands behind my back to hide them from view. 

without looking up i knew that they exchanged a disappointed look before father passed my notebook back to me as he said "go ahead and go try to write some more in your room before dinner."

i nodded before taking it and going upstairs to my room.

once the door was closed i shut the door and leaned against it, letting a few silent tears fall before taking a deep breath and setting myself up at my desk.

tonight was going to be a long night.

what seemed like mere minutes turned out to be a few hours as a soft knock was heard at my door, ripping me out of the darkness that almost seemed to take hold of me.

i looked over to the door and my mother poked her head in with a smile to say "it's dinner time koyumi."

i gave her a small nod before looking back at my heavily drawn music notes, slowly i closed the notebook to cover the sad melody that seemed to want to float out to me.

with a heavy sigh i turned and followed my mother to the dining room.

we all sat around the table and i looked from my mothers smiling face to that of my fathers before my gaze fell on the empty fourth chair to my right.

a heaviness settled over my heart and i quickly looked down at my plate before either of them could notice. 

dinner started in silence and i was grateful for it as i pushed the food around on my plate, not really having an appetite. 

"so have you made any friends yet, koyumi?" my mother asked out of the blue.

i looked up and gave a hesitant nod as i said "yes, one."

my father looked up in slight interest as he asked "whats her name?"

i looked back down before saying "my friend is a boy named ryoma, i met him back in middle school."

father tensed up and gave me a sharp look as he said "boys are just a distraction koyumi, it might be best for you not to hang around with him very much."

mother glanced at father before smiling and saying "your father has a point, if you where to get to close to him you would probably fall behind with your music more than you already have."

i felt my hand clench as i said "ryoma isn't a distraction."

father noticed my knuckles turning white on my fork as he asked "you've known him since middle school? isn't that when you started to fall behind with your composing koyumi? could you already be too close to this boy?"

i grit my teeth before looking back to my plate and squeezing my eyes shut.

 anger was starting to bubble up in me, mixing with the hurt already filling my being until i felt it would spill out.

and spill out it did as i felt my mouth open and heard the words that were screamed out.

"-KI! -KI! -KI! KOYUKI! I'M FALLING BEHIND BECAUSE I'M NOT KOYUMI! I'M KOYUKI! YOUR DAUGHTER THAT IS STILL ALIVE! I'M THE ONE WHO SURVIVED NOT KOYUMI! SO STOP PRETENDING LIKE I'M THE ONE WHO DIED WHEN IM RIGHT HERE!"

a loud clapping sound and a stinging sensation on my cheek made my eyes fly wide open.

mother was standing beside me with tears in her eyes as she glared down at me.

"we know it's been hard on you since your twin died koyumi, but pretending to be her will do no good for anyone. shut your mouth and take responsibility for your own laziness."

he tone was harsh and the stinging in my cheek brought me back to my senses. 

i knew this would happen.

it's what always happened when i tried to break them out of their denial.

after all koyumi was their favorite, and i was the unwanted twin.

what did i expect when she died so suddenly like that?