Falling

Chapter Sixteen

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

(ZAYN POV)

I slipped into a quiet, seemingly deserted alley. I pulled the slim white cigarette out of the packet, flicking on the lighter and watching the flame dance and flicker, almost too close to my finger. But I didn’t mind the heat from the flame; it was something I was used to. I lit the cigarette, closing my eyes as I let a thin wisp of smoke blow into the air. The flame had burned temporary white spots into my vision, and it was these white spots that I let take me back into the past.

***

It had been five years ago. I was just nineteen. Nineteen and naïve, I guess, not knowing who my real friends were and who I should trust.

Harry hadn’t been at school the past few days. I’d waited for him outside his house as per normal - since he was supposed to be coming today - for our daily walk to school, chatting about the most inane things in the world. So I stood outside, leaning against that same mailbox as I’d done so for the past many years. Nothing had changed in all the years of our friendships, except the mailbox getting a few new coats of paint, just like the house, and everybody growing older.

I tapped my foot on the ground impatiently. Harry never usually took so long. I admit it was normally me who took longer to get ready. We were going to be really late at this rate. I stepped up to the doorstep, lifting my hand to press the doorbell, but at that exact moment, the door opened.

“Oh hey, Mrs Styles. What’s Harry up to this morning? He’s taking forever,” I plastered the most genuine smile on my face, trying not to sound rude and impatient. Anne smiled apologetically, but it was clouded with worry, and she shook her head. “He’s still not feeling very well today, Zayn. I guess you’ll have to go on your own. Sorry to have kept you waiting for so long.”

“Oh…” Disappointment filled me. How was I going to survive a whole school day without my best friend to sneak notes to in class or to laugh at anything the teacher did? Or to copy answers from during a test? “Thanks Mrs Styles, tell him to take care, and he’d better be back at school soon.”

I turned away from the house, trudging along to school. I figured I could get there just in time at my current speed. It wasn’t as late as I’d thought it was after all.

I suddenly felt so alone, walking to school with no company. All around me was the chatter of other children and teenagers on their way to school as well. I never did have many real friends; Harry was probably my only proper one. The rest were only there when their friends weren’t there for them. I was just a replacement, you see. But I didn’t have anyone like that to go to when my friend wasn’t here.