Falling

Chapter Twenty-Three

HELLO! :D It's the other writer person who's been on holiday. o: Paige actually. o-o Anyway, if you haven't seen our profile, this chapter is a Zayn/Louis one, so it's by Amelia! And tell her how good it is! xD Never mind! Anyway! Here's chapter twenty three! :D We will be uploading like, a chapter a day! c: I sound excited o-o never mind, I'm going to stop rambling now o; Thanks for all the reads, whoever's reading <3 WORDS: 4689 o: 

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

(ZAYN POV)

I mulled over my ‘plan’ for a few days. It was far from flawless. In fact, so many things could go horribly wrong I was actually considering just staying out of the issue altogether, because, well, I didn’t want to mess things up more than they already were.

I was over-thinking it, but what if Jordan wouldn’t cooperate? What if what I saw that day wasn’t the real Jordan and he actually hadn’t forgiven Niall? Then I’d have screwed up big time, and I would have another issue to add to the list of things I had to make right.

Sure, I just struck ‘Harry murdered my parents’ off the list of problems I had, but while doing that, I hadn’t had the sense to do ‘Come clean with Harry about Louis’ and I had a feeling if I just called him up and said, “Hey look Harry, I know we’re friends and all now, so I just thought you’d like to know that I was the one who landed your boyfriend in hospital because I was the one behind the wheel of the car that knocked him down, and you must be really glad he’s still alive because I actually thought I should kill him.

And I’m responsible for all the heartbreak I’m causing you both because Louis can’t remember anything, but it’ll be alright soon, so no hard feelings, yeah?” That would just damage the remains of our friendship irrevocably, and probably my face too when Harry started raining blows on me.

I shirk responsibility a lot. I would just pin all the blame on Mr. Clark but that wouldn’t be fair because I’m not a robot who couldn’t think for himself and just follows orders. I was the exact opposite, in fact. I had been more than willing to hurt Harry.

Frustrated, I dug out my pack of cigarettes and a lighter. I hadn’t touched them in a while, and I surprisingly hadn’t felt the urge to either. Today just felt like it called for a smoke, though. But I probably shouldn’t do it in the house, so I grabbed my keys and decided to roam the streets for a bit. I mean, who knows who or what I might find, right? As already proven, it was such a small world.

I watched the wisps of smoke curl and rise into the air as I walked along, thankful that there weren’t many people out now. I suddenly felt guilty about polluting their air and I was sure someday, someone was going to give me a really dirty look for being so inconsiderate.

Inwardly I scoffed. Since when did I become so considerate and caring? Dirty looks? I’ve gotten more than my fair share of them and they never bothered me. Until now, maybe.

Was I actually starting to get my conscience back? Wherever it had gone to before, it felt like it was coming back. It was an odd feeling because I never really had to bother about feeling bad for doing anything before.

Just like how I felt bad for hurting Louis now.

Maybe it was because I felt I knew him more personally now. And that action hadn’t been called for at all because I did it to get back at Harry, but now I know he didn’t do anything to deserve it and it just made me feel like a terrible person.

It was probably because of all these thoughts that I found myself making my way to Mr. Clark’s office to dig some information about Jordan out from him.

I got to Clark Industries fairly quickly, and in an act of defiance I threw the smoked cigarette down right in front of the sliding doors, quickly stubbing it out with the sole of my shoe. It would probably just be an insignificant act of littering to anyone passing by, but it was just my way of telling Mr. Clark, "fuck you and your ideas," in a way no one else but me would be able to see and understand.