lust; malec au

chapter eight

Alec chewed his food slowly; it meant he would get full quicker and he could leave more on his plate. He also had Ru sitting on his lap to secretly feed some of his meal to. Ru was really cute, but the thing that Magnus said earlier about his mother still hadn't left Alec's mind.

"So, how long have you known Alec?" Maryse asked Magnus with a smile, after delicately pushing more spaghetti twirled around her fork into her mouth. Magnus chewed his food and then swallowed, replying with, "Only a few months; we're in the same class at school this year. We were put in a seating plan and our names are similar; Lightwood and Lin."

Alec turned to Magnus, trying to hold back his smile. Magnus was a good liar. Alec was glad Magnus didn't slip up and he said they met at school, feeling a certain weight lift from his shoulders.

The rest of the dinner was mostly just small talk, there were no serious questions, with Maryse asking Jace and Isabelle how school was. She only paid attention to Magnus when Alec said something, which was fine by both of them. The less she knew the better.

Alec pushed his cut up food around the plate with his fork, looking at it in disgust. Everyone else had finished, but he had no intent of finishing his. "Mom, is it okay if I go to the bathroom? I'm finished," Alec asked his mother, Maryse nodding her head quickly and waving him away.

Swallowing the clear sign of being ignored, Alec got up, heading towards the bathroom. Magnus watched him leave with a look of worry; he noticed the look of rejection on Alec's face and how it obviously hurt him.

Alec locked the door behind him, immediately rushing over to the toilet and pushing the seat up so that it hit the toilet tank, getting on his knees. He shut his eyes tightly and stuck two fingers down his throat, having to reach down far before anything came up. He had a strong gag reflex.

Purging was something that Alec had been doing a lot recently, because everyone had noticed how little he was eating. It didn't feel good at all, but Alec felt as though it was necessary or else he would feel ugly.

Alec sniffled as he pulled the flush, wiping at the side of his mouth. He got back up, looking at himself in the mirror. It seemed like nothing was working for Alec. He felt fat, so he stopped  eating. Then he felt pathetic and ugly. It just felt like no matter what he did, Alec always messed up.

As Alec felt tears well up in his eyes, he snapped back and wiped at them quickly, leaning forward and turning the tap on. He washed the stench of vomit out of his mouth, scrubbing and scratching at his tongue until it felt numb.

Opening the door, Alec gasped quietly in shock, as Magnus was standing right outside the door. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack, Magnus?" Alec asked with a forced laugh, knowing that behind his eyes he showed guilt and fear. Guilt and fear that Magnus knew what he was doing.

"You take long pees," Magnus said with a grin, guiding Alec by the small of his back to his room. Alec let out a breath, glad that Magnus didn't ask about what he was doing. Alec didn't want Magnus to worry or be burdened with Alec's fucked up cycle of eating.

Magnus said, "Jace and Isabelle said that they would take care of Ru until later, and then Jace will take him into his room to sleep. Which means we have the room to ourselves." Alec scoffed and shook his head in amusement, seeing Magnus shut the door behind him with a cheeky smirk.

"I don't think we should do anything until my parents are asleep — they like to come in at random times." Alec said, sitting on the end of his bed. It was eight now, and his parents usually headed to bed around ten, so it wouldn't be that long.