Alone

Shifting

The next few days were strange. I felt sad, depressed even, but Damien never left my side. It's like I could see this tiny, little match shining in a dark abyss.

Today though, things are going to be different. Damien has made a point not to leave my side at all. He's even gone as far as to stand outside the bathroom door. But today I'm alone. He has a meeting until 1. Meaning I'm by myself all morning. The only people I even know are Joe... I mean Andrew and Damien. I'm​too afraid of everyone else I've seen to try and make conversation. Not to mention a friend.

So it's somewhere between 9:00 and 1:00 right now and all I've done is sit here. I woke up and rolled over and haven't moved since. I looked down at my body and decided I'd earned a nice bath. I rolled out of bed none too gracefully, and began to rummage around looking for a set of clothes.

It was so different without Damien. He'd always bring me a shirt and some shorts and then he'd lead me to the bathroom. Much to his disappointment, I made him stand outside, but he'd wait right at the door until I came back out. Now I was an independent, strong, you woman. I fetch my own clothes and I don't need anyone waiting at my beck and call outside my door.

Once finished with my shower, I dolefully opened the door to absence. No Damien. You miss the strangest things when they're gone. I begrudgingly trotted to a nearby window. With nothing better to do, watching the trees sounded like a great way to occupy my mind. I'd loved the green in the trees all of my life. Trees are so beautiful, watching them sway and bend violently in the wind. Something about how they hold hold strong amongst the chaos always fascinated me.

Movement drove my attention away from the treetops. Down on the ground several men stood by the treeline. As they stood, wolves emerged from the trees in front of where each man stood. The wolves sniffed each man before re-entering the woods with the men by their side, after a few minutes howls could be heard from the distance as different men reappeared.

They shifted.

They can do that. Everyone here can do that. Except me. I'm all alone. No wolf to keep me sane. Before I realized what I was doing tears leaked from my eyes. Down my face they trailed, rolling off my cheeks and jaw line.

I couldn't stand to look at the trees anymore, all I thought about was the wolves hidden just behind them. I fell into the corner, curled into a ball and sobbed. Sobbed because I was worthless. Dad always told me how much his wolf helped him in his life. How his wolf told him how to mark mom and how to turn her into a wolf. His wolf helped raise me, keeping me safe from predators and out of harm's way in general. But I killed Darcy.

She's gone because of me.

With my head buried in my knees I cried. I cried for hours it felt like. Sobs and wails leaving me sore. The tears never did slow down, my whole body shook as my eyes burned. I deserved these tears tho, I deserved a lot worse for what I did.

The door was knocked open, banging against the wall loudly and leaving a hole from the handle. A furious Damien filled the doorway, his chest heaving, his murderous eyes darting around the room. His eyes soon found me, still in the corner, tears flowing continuously. The hate fire died instantly, his body shot forward and wrapped around me.

His arms encased me and pushed my head toward his chest. "What happened? Did someone hurt you?" His voice darken threateningly as he finished.

I frantically shook my head no, afraid he'd storm off to break Joe - I mean Andrew's arm again. "I just..." I threw my arms around him. His being here comforted me. Deep down, as much as I wanted to deny it, his presence made me feel like I wasn't completely worthless. He didn't hesitate to hold me closer and let me hang onto him for dear life.

Without pulling away he asked, "What happened? Why are you crying? Let me fix it."

I took a big breath, trying to find the courage to let him in on how weak I was. "Well... I looked outside and... It really wasn't a big deal, I overreacted." I wanted to stop there and leave it be, but when he looked down at me I realized that wasn't an option. "Then... I watched them shift... It's not a big deal, I just need to learn to live with it."

"Oh sweetie, I know it's hard. I'm so sorry I had to leave. I'll stay and help you through this. Don't worry, you have every right to get upset. Anyone would."

I looked up, into his eyes to find sincerity staring holes into me. I couldn't hold his heated gaze and looked at my knees. They always bruised so easily, I barely had to hit them to be left with nasty bruises. I poked one on the top of my knee that had turned a nice purple color.

He grabbed my hand, preventing me from poking it anymore, "I know you're not completely comfortable here yet, but I swear to you... I will take care of you." I didn't even have to look at his eyes to know Jax was right on the surface. Every word coming from both of them, living in tandem, in complete agreement for this moment.

I nodded, not having the courage to look at him, "Thanks. Sorry for... You know." I attempted to laugh it off but nope. No one laughs at my jokes. He tugged on my chin so I was looking at him.

"I'm here for you."

Hiya. I really don't know why I'm not updating faster. (Faster is always better right?) Um but hurricane Harvey hit my area and I'm staying in a hotel until Friday with nothing to do so maybe another chapter will come quick. No promises though, the second I promise I'll lose all creativity. Anyway, thanks for your patience. Love you guys!