Alone

Lost

Adriana's POV

After last night I don't know what to think. Waking up to find his claws tearing me open; he wouldn't wake up, he wouldn't relent, nothing. Everytime I tried to make him stop it wouldn't work.

Im powerless. An honest to God victim of circumstances. I never asked for any of this. It was great at first, being with Damien, but now all of this with Ross and losing Darcy. I never asked for this. This is the last thing I could've wanted. I wish it was all gone. I wish I was gone.

I sat in the shower now. After tearing myself away from him and ignoring his continuous apologizing, I locked the door in his face. The thoughts pooling around me aren't happy ones.

Imagining a world that I'm not in. I think that's considered depressed, picturing what would happen if you were gone. Forever. No more pain. No more finding comfort and then having it ripped out of your naive hands. If I was gone I could see it now.

Damien sitting in his office, he places a paper down and runs a hand through his hair. His shoulders slump as he slouches in his office chair. The door opens and in walks an elegant shewolf. She prances up to him happily and wraps her arms around his neck, she asks if they can let their wolves out and go for a run that evening. His reply was natural, "Anything for my Luna."

My heart broke.

Ross sits alone. In front of the couch he sits on are two beer bottles. He sprawls across the furniture and sighs happily. A feminine voice calls him out of the room, "Baby, come see me in our room. I've got a surprise for you."

A deep sigh leaves me, a lone tear traces down my face, lost in the wetness from the shower. They'd be happier if I was gone. Life would continue without a care in the world. Sure they might be sad for a little, but they'd move on. They're strong men, I'm easily replaceable.

My spine stiffened when a firm knock sounded on the bathroom door. "Stop it. Whatever self loathing, bull that's going through that beautiful head of yours can stop. Be angry, be pissed, just..." His voice drastically lost it's fire, "Don't be sad. I'm trying so hard, everything about you is drawing me closer. I can't apologize enough for what I did, I'll do anything to make it better. Just please don't be upset. The mark is feeding all of your emotions into me and my wolf and we can't handle it. I can understand and deal with you being angry, I would hate it but it'd make sense if you were scared, but just... Why would you be so sad? Please, let me fix it. I'll do anything for you." His wolf whimpering is what got me. How the hell does his wolf care about me, I'll never understand.

I picked myself up and turned off the water. I want to see him. I longed deep in my soul to hold him. Or Damien. Anyone. I was growing more and more attached to Ross as the days went by. My mark was becoming more than just a claim. It was effecting how I think, it was turning into my emotions. And at this point, I see no reason to stop it.

Maybe Ross is right. What if I really did have it bad with Damien. Can he really treat me better. Can I be happier. Then again, he hurt me. Physically. Unlike the emotional trauma I experienced with my mate. My mate... That's who the Moon chose me to be with. But why the hell was it so bad. I should've been happier. Loved every moment. But I didn't.

I dried myself and hurried to throw on a baggy shirt of his and a pair of shorts from a member of his pack. I rushed out the door and found Ross standing there waiting for me. I threw myself into his chest, clung to him for dear life.

My throat burned, my eyes watered when I realized how awful I was. Damien is probably worried sick, trying his hardest to save me and here I am. Throwing myself into another man's arms. I loved it though. No, I didn't love Ross, but I loved how comfortable I felt. Despite the claw marks on my back I wasn't afraid. I knew this man, this terrifying man, would take care of me. He'd do all he could and then some to care for me, I saw it in the way he looked at me. The way he placed his hands, one on my hip and the other in my hair, careful to avoid my wounded back. In the way his wolf would come out and desperately try to take care of me. In the way he would rush to my side if I was upset, and not leave me until I had calmed down. That's how I knew to trust this man.

I don't understand why. I don't understand how. There's a chance though, a small chance that maybe this is where I was meant to be. Here, with Ross. Maybe the whole fiasco with Damien was just to get me here. What if this is what the Moon planned for me all along? To be cared for here.

I held him. I held him and took huge, relaxing breaths, breathing in his smell. Oh that smell makes me want to purr. I pushed myself further into his chest and revelled in the comfort washing over me. The kind of comfort only he could provide. This is where I was meant to be. Right in his arms. I want to hold him forever, I want him to hold me forever. I want to always feel this happy.

A deep breath left him, "C... Can I show you my wolf, Rut. He likes you."