Alone

How Can You Say That

"Adriana, you can't be serious. I didn't mean to hurt you. This is a good thing. Why are you not happy? I just gave my whole life to you! There is nothing wrong about what I did; anyone else in the world would be overjoyed to have their mate mark them!" He threw his arms in the air in frustration.

He actually was angry with me. With me! As if I did something wrong! I'm the victim​ here! I did no wrong! He's the one who forced his claim on me! He deprived me of my right to reject him! Darcy warned me never to do it. How it's the worst possible thing to do to someone. She explained the physical and emotional torment both of us would go through. Dear God it's still my option, though. He shouldn't get to tie our lives together until I agreed it was time. Any wolf with half a heart understood that.

I've never been more tempted to hit a man in all of my life, "How can you say that to me?! You deprived me of an act of love between two mate's. You took away any say I had, any wolf knows that the decision to mark your mate is mutual, you both agree and it becomes a romantic milestone. A sign of devotion! You took every wolf's biggest dream, chewed it up and spat it out. Did no one teach you, did Jax not tell you? When a mate doesn't consent to being marked it hurts like hell! did you just not care? Were you just ignoring the agony I went through. Are we going to ignore the betrayal I feel?!" He seemed taken aback that I could be this upset with him, "You heard me! I'm betrayed. You did this to me, you hurt me, you took away my right to choose something so basic, and the worst part is, you feel no remorse for any of this! You act like you did me a favor. My bad, sorry I'm not thanking you for your wonderful act of kindness that helped everyone in the world in such a great way!"

Damien took a literal step back in shock. he stuttered for a few moments before righting himself, "I didn't mean to hurt you! You have to believe me, you being in pain is the absolute last thing I'd ever want. What I did was for you. That alpha back there wanted to hurt you. Alpha Ross thought that he could get away with it. Now that you're marked, though, I can protect you better. I'm closer to you now. Please Adriana, I did this for you. Jax and I couldn't just leave you unprotected."

You know what he didn't say? Sorry. For Christ's sake, three year olds know to apologize when they upset someone. Damien though, noooooo. Damien can do no wrong. Why should he apologize for his stupid mate not being happy with him forcing his mark on her? He did the world a favor. Hell, him being here is a gift to the flipping world!

"Get out."

"Adriana, you can't mean that."

"Leave. Damien, just get out."

He left.

I cried.

I got what I wanted.

I didn't leave the room the next day. Or the day after. Neither did I the next day. Each day Damien would come by. He'd bring a hot plate of food and ask to be let in. I wouldn't let him. Each day he came by he sounded worse. By the fourth day it almost sounded like he'd been crying. He deserved it. I didn't pity him. Maybe that makes me a bad person. So be it.

I hadn't eaten in several days by now, but that's not a problem. I'd gone longer without food. The only difference now was that I didn't have Darcy to keep me company. When I was alone and hungry in the past I wasn't truly alone. Darcy was there, she kept me sane. Now she was gone, and I was left with a sore burning reminder of how weak I was.

The worse part? I can feel what Damien feels. When nothing occupies my mind and I'm left alone to my thoughts... I ache. I feel this longing from deep within me, this aching loneliness all too different from my own. It's like when you hear a story and you imagine what the characters feel so strongly that you feel their emotions yourself. You feel what they are feeling, but you understand that it's not your emotion, that it's not you feeling those things.

I'm forced to suffer. Forced to feel not only my own pain, but to also endure the pain that I am causing to someone else. I'm forced to feel the pain I'm causing my mate. The person I'm supposed to love, adore, and protect. I'm hurting. All I want is for him to understand he's my mate too, I'm not just his. I'm not trying to hurt him. I just can't trust him. For all I know the next time someone gets mad at him he might feel the need to complete the mating process and rape me. He didn't care about how I felt this time around, why would he next time?

I lay here and cry. I watch the moonlight shine on the treetops, and think about the night I saw Jax. How the only light we had was the moon shining and lighting our path. I don't know what to think of Jax and Damien. Are they bad, were they really disregarding my feelings all along and I just now noticed it? Or did they truly not see the harm in what they were doing? I'll never know if I don't speak to him again, but how can I face him. The man who may, or may not have any regard for my feelings and opinions. If I want to know what kind of a person he is, I'd have to be ready to face the bad. Blissful ignorance only lasts so long.

Hiya! I did this chapter on a laptop instead of my phone, like I usually do so if it's funky... that's why. I'll try and fix it if it's messed up majorly or anything.

Anyway, what do you think of the new cover? it's not bad right? Either way, hope you enjoyed the chapter. Keep reading and voting! Thank you bunches!