My Bargain With The BadBoy

•• Chapter Eighteen ••

Chapter eighteen: Let Me Help You Heal

   Ryder's door was wide open. He was sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. I couldn't make out what he was saying no matter how hard I was trying. I knocked on his door and his head shot up. "Alex." He whispered. He said my name like it was a prayer on his lips.

"Hey, look." I started, "I am sorry if it seems like I don't like y-" I paused and cleared my throat, "I am sorry if it seems as though I didn't like the kiss. I did, you're an excellent kisser if I'm honest..." I blushed, Ryder smiled. It was one of those rare genuine smiles, "but, you see. My problem is," I took a deep breath, don't see me as a slut, don't be mad, "I have also kissed Ace." Ryder paled for a moment but nodded solemnly, "and I do not know who I like." I finished.

He didn't reply. I tried again, "I mean, I don't know if like is the correct phrase because god knows, you probably don't even like me as a friend let alone a girl-" he cut me off.

"I do like you Alex." He said hastily. Looking me straight in the eyes, "I do." He finished, "and I don't care if we hardly know each other. I like you. You are beautiful, funny, confident and so fucking strong. Look at what those people have just done to you, left you. And you can still smile? It's a gorgeous trait. You carry it with pride." I didn't know what to say when he'd finished. It's a gorgeous trait. You carry it with pride.

"Ryder." I breathed, I knew perfectly well that I was blushing profusely. My ears were probably bright red and Ryder was seeing it all. However, that's something I didn't believe until now. Ryder sees me. He sees me.

"Ryder." I said again. He looked at me intently, "I accept your bargain." He let out a long breath and smiled. I turned and walked out the room. How was I supposed to react to that?

Harriett was leaning on the banister smiling like an idiot, "told you so." She said and walked into her room. I noticed Kath sitting downstairs, playing with Terri. A distraction.

I said my Hello's and sat myself down on the armchair. Kath was smiling at her daughter. Her smile faltered a few times and I didn't fail to notice her closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths every now and again, "Kath, are you alright?" I asked, reaching over and placing my hand on her arm. She looked at me and smiled.

"I need to tell someone..." she breathed, swallowing hard, "morning sickness.." she declared. I looked at her for a moment, it was nearly ten at night, I thought hard.

And then it clicked, "no way!" I shouted. She nodded, smiling widely, "does Bennett know?" I asked, looking from her face to her stomach and back to her face.

"No, I want to surprise him. I'm getting my gender reveal scan on Christmas Eve... I think I'll surprise the family on Christmas Day!" She clapped her hands and Terrin joined in, giggling manically.

"Congratulations." I said and gave her a loose hug, I didn't want to make her any more nauseous. She held her chest and laughed.

"Thank you. I'm so excited. I remember when I found out I was pregnant with Terrin. I was only eighteen... and I was terrified." She looked at Terri, "I was even more terrified to tell Bennett. He was nineteen and planning to go travelling in the summer. I didn't want to hold him back but I had to tell him." She gushed,

"His reaction," she laughed, "I wish I'd caught it on tape. He cried, tears of pure joy. I was shocked that he was excited but-" Kath was tearing up, "oh god, I'm so excited to relive it." I laughed and grabbed her hand.

"I'm so happy for you Kath." In the few days I've been here, Kath has been so caring towards me. She's like an older sister to me, Terri is adorable too. That made it all the more better.

However, I was still conflicted about Ace and Ryder...

I didn't want to have to choose.

But we don't always get what we want.

•••••

Ooo! I'm so excited for Kath's baby! I don't think I'll do a chapter on it but I'll skip ahead during the epilogue because... ermm, SPOILER ALERT it will be necessary.

By the way: if you are going to lecture me on the whole "it's not Gender, it's Sex" I will report the messages. There is no room for political debate in my writing. I'm sorry if it isn't your perspective, however it is my own. Apologies.