Hey, Cruel World - (Marilyn Manson)

Portrait of a New American Family

"I. Am. So. Tired." I said as I slowly fell to the floor and laid on my back, shutting my eyes and stretching my arms and legs out at odd angles. I peeked through one of my eyes after a few seconds to see Twiggy glancing down at me with a strange expression. He raised his eyebrow and I burst into laughter at his face. He was hilarious to me and all it took was him to look confused with me and I thought it was funny. My goal was accomplished...confuse all.

"You are so weird, girl," he said and awkwardly stepped over my arm. He sat on the side of the giant king-size bed in the one-room apartment. He started to take off his shoes and once they were both off, he tossed them towards the closet door. Right then, Marilyn walked in and I sat up to see Marilyn give Twiggy an angry expression.

"We have been in this apartment for THREE HOURS and you're already throwing your stuff around? Absolutely not! We're going to be in here for who knows how many months yet, and you will keep organized like the rest of us!" Marilyn shouted at Twiggy and pointed to the shoes by the closet. Twiggy rolled his eyes like a little kid and walked over to the shoes with dramatic movements, the Twiggy that made me laugh. He picked up the shoes, opened the door to the newly stuffed, huge closet, and placed them neatly on the floor with the many other pairs of shoes. Angrily, he stomped back to the bed and began undressing. This was something you had to get used to if you were going to live with guys. Marilyn glanced down at me, my back resting against the bed and my arms hugging my knees, and winked at me before giving me a grin. I returned one before Twiggy turned back to us.

"He's such a drama queen," Marilyn whispered down at me and I smiled.

"Says the one who just yelled at him for leaving his shoes out of the closet," I joked and Marilyn rolled his eyes. He reached down for my hand and pulled me up to standing position and the two of us walked into the next room of the apartment, a decently-sized kitchen with a smaller dining room and large table with many chairs. Ginger was still arranging the silverware and dishes in cabinents and drawers and everywhere else he could find and Marilyn slapped him on the back as he entered.

Ginger had been welcomed back into the band like an old friend seeing as he...well, we WAS an old friend. He'd realized he wasn't as happy playing for Rob Zombie as he had been in Manson. Marilyn gladly excepted him after the drummer, Jason Sutter, left without a word to anyone other than Marilyn. And he wasn't the only one either who was welcomed back...Fred had also decided to go a seperate way and Twiggy wanted his old bass position back...and none other than Zim Zum was back in the band again within hours. No one had exactly expected him to say yes, but after the years, he'd changed more than anyone realized, his skill haivng increased immensely. He was currently in the shower, the first one of any of us to "try it out" as they'd kept saying it.

And then there was me. The fifteen-year-old girl who lived with four of the craziest guys out there. I wasn't part of the band, but the runaway who they'd surprisingly taken in as their own. Sure, it was probably illegal, along with our sleeping arrangements that were DEFINITELY illegal, but it was the situation, and it was what we were going to do. The gothic girl, the huge fan of Marilyn Manson for many years, the somewhat "daughter" of these guys despite my short time with them. And I was never going back to the way before...not after this new family of mine.

I'd come to Marilyn on my own terms, finding him also on my own terms, and moving in with him...on OUR own terms. He of course still had his house, his beautiful, expensive, and amazing house, but had decided recently he wanted the band members to move in together in the smallest place possible (Why it had to be so small, none of us knew, but he was the boss) so that they could get to know each other even that much better, to grow an entirely new and improved bond, he said, after the many years of Zim being gone and the few of Ginger not there as well, so that Marilyn Manson, the band, could come back better than ever.

"Hey, we can get that in the morning, you've unpacked more than any of us and it's late," Marilyn said, his hand still on Ginger's back. I checked my watch and read that it was somehow already 3:30 in the morning. Why we'd gotten here and begun unpacking at midnight, I did not know...another one of Marilyn being in charge of things...

"Oh, thank God," Ginger said and turned, setting down another stack of plates on the counter. He looked so dreary and tired but managed one of those cute smiles of his before walking into the bedroom and stripping down to his boxers along with Twiggy. Even in the Californian summer, they seemed to me as if they'd be cold with a bare chest, arms, and legs and the ceiling fan on high speed. I shivered slightly at the thought to myself.

"Come one, we need to sleep," Marilyn said to me and I nodded and yawned, following him. He changed over by the dresser into some long and soft-looking pants and an even softer shirt before flopping down onto the bed. I noticed Zim was already fast asleep on the edge of the right side of the bed, Twiggy laying next to him, awake as ever, and Marilyn leaving a space between him and Twiggy. Ginger jumped into bed next to Marilyn and covered up, looking as if he'd go into hibernation very quickly. I sighed and turned off the lights before walking over to the foot of the bed and crawling over the edge.

When Marilyn had told me about moving, I was fine. When he told me about our sleeping arrangements and how there was only one bed, I was a bit more weary, but I was honestly fine with the idea. I didn't think it'd hurt anything...they were alright guys. And I could make my own decisions now. It didn't matter.

I crawled up in between Marilyn and Twiggy and shuffled under the covers where my body seemed to become one with the bed, more comfortable than ever after such a long day. Before I began to fall asleep, I reached into my pillowcase and took something out, hugging it to my body. I honestly didn't care what anyone thought of this.

It was silent for a few moments as I listened to Zim gently breathing and Ginger's light snores. (I hadn't thought of that yet...I had the sudden realization that I was sleeping in the same bed as four other men...and men snored.) My shoulder-length hair was still a bit damp from my shower and my night clothes very soft, but I still was stiff as I was afraid to move at all being so close to other people in the silence.

Finally, someone spoke. "What the hell is that, Mavis?" Twiggy said and I looked up to see his face clearly now that my eyes had adjusted to the darkness of the room. I rolled my eyes at him and smiled.

"It's a stuffed bear. Do you have a problem with that?" I asked, grinning and raising an eyebrow. I heard Marilyn chuckle quietly next to me at my tone, though Twiggy laughed at my answer. "What?" I exclaimed. "I've had him since I was a month old, alright?"

"It's whatever, kid," he said through his small laughs, holding his hands above the covers in an innocent way, palms facing me.

I punched him lightly in the ribcage and said, "Don't call me 'kid'. And don't laugh at me."

"Okay, okay!" he said but I could still see a smile on his face that he couldn't control and smiled myself at this.

"You know, Twiggy, I also slept with a body pillow when I slept in my own bed, along with the bear, so you'd better just keep your mouth shut," I added a moment later.

"You're so weird!" And his laughs began again.

"Shut up!" I giggled. Ahh, late night hysteria. "Just because you're a guy and you spawl out wherever and whenever..." It got quiet again in the dark for a moment and Twiggy started laughing to himself again.

"Twiggy, shut the hell up and let Mavis and me get some sleep please. I don't know how Ginger and Zim haven't woken up to you yet," Marilyn said beside me. I smiled at his voice and closed my eyes, about to drift off, exhausted.

"Zim always goes to bed early, he's so boring..." Twiggy said, sounding like his old self again, not like the Jeordie he'd been the past few years.

After that comment, no more were made and we all fell asleep in a matter of minutes. By the time I woke up in the morning, I'd never known I'd put my arm around Twiggy and that he'd left it there as he smiled to himself, my new body pillow.