Addiction (series 2) - Avneil

Wordless

#96 in ff category guys :)

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Neil and Avni were sitting together side by side. Her on the hospital bed, injured, still her veins being fed by tubes and him quite alright physically but a wreck from the inside. They were both looking down now.

Neil broke the silence - "I have let you down. I deserve this. But you do not Avni. For your sake, do you not want to rethink this..?"

Avni inhaled, somewhat disturbed. Then she said in a clear voice - "I am doing it for myself only. I got distracted from my motive of off-setting Dayawanti's life. I was alive for that and then you came in my life Neil. But now, I am focused on it again. This incident showed me how fragile life is, and if I do not finish my motive.. my mother will not be able to rest in peace"

Neil, held her hand again, this time he intertwined their fingers together.

Neil - "I will support you Avni. You know that.. We have put Dayawanti in jail, we have her property and her business is bust. I .. I just want to be with you.."

Avni - "And I with you Neil.. but this..", and then she held a finger and touched Neil on the chest and then pointed to her chest, "..this is not working out Neil. Any relationship for me is pure. In childhood all my loved ones went away from me. In adult life I discovered you.. but this .. this does not seem pure now.. not now that Juhi re-entered your life and I saw your reaction"

Neil realised that Avni was hurt much, much more than he had imagined her to be. She had been a sensitive child and in her position, after having her faith taken away from her and then restored and now again been taken away, she was shattered. Her decision was for her own good to shield herself from getting close with people who would ultimately give her pain. Like Neil did..

Neil - "I love you.. you know that right?"

Avni - "And I love you Neil.."

Neil looked pained at her - "Then why.. Avni..how will we stay away"

Avni - "It will be a big change. But maybe we will learn. Most importantly I think you will easily learn Neil". And then she went quiet.

Neil knew she was referring to his past. And to the affection he had felt for Juhi when she had re-entered his life. And now he was paying the price for his mistake.

To someone from the outside it would feel harsh, people would not understand Avni's decision. But Neil knew his wife.. he knew Avni. He knew why it had hurt her so much. Trust was the factor binding them. Her faith in their relationship had been destroyed. She did not believe in the sanctity of husband - wife relationship anymore. And why would she? After all he did temporarily leave her, just like her father Ashish Mehta had done..

Neil - "I.. I know one thing. That I will love you.. But. I know you as well Avni.. And I know that you mean it. I cannot say this.. but I will support you in anything, anything that you want and I just want to remain close to you. I .. I did a mistake and we are paying the price now Avni. But I want to see you happy and smiling now"

Avni looked at him, slightly relieved - "Thanks for understanding Neil"

Neil - "If you are ok, can we delay the formalities till you are out of the hospital and till you have recovered completely?"

Avni was about to protest when Neil said - "No. No I understand.. I will stay separate from you. But I want to be able to take care of you and not to create any unnecessary stress. I will just remain close to you, and protect you.." and then Neil added a line to stress  it .." That will make me very happy Avni. If you allow us to be together for some more time" 

Avni gave in - "Hey.. I said we can be friends.. And I trust you.. At least in this Neil. I trust that you will stay close to me and still not pressurize me or try to take advantage or go back on your word. I can wait for a formal divorce. Anyways love and separation happens in the minds, marriages and divorces are just tools created by society"

Neil nodded and noticed he was still holding her hand. He did not leave it and looked at her face. Avni was closing her eyes now, she was going back to resting as she was exhausted after such a long conversation on waking up properly for the first time.

Neil looked at her going back to sleep, he saw a strand of her hair slip on her forehead and he fought the urge to pull it back into place. Once he was sure she had slept, he put his hand and touched her forehead. He pushed the hair strand back and then he looked up. He was actually smiling. Avni had agreed to stay friends with him. She had agreed to postpone the separation till she is unwell. He was happy he was getting to stay with her for now.

Neil got up to leave as nurse came in. And as he turned back to Avni he made that promise to himself that he had been thinking about this entire time while talking to Avni. 

That he will make her believe in them again, and he will win her heart back. He will start making her feel again.