HOLLER. 》 Dan x Reader || Danisnotonfire

Chapter 22|| "Do you know what anxiety is?"

(yO SORRY I WONT BE UPDATING AS MUCH BC SCHOOL STARTED BUT HEY HERES A WAY OVERDUE UPDATE YAY)

-YOU-

Sitting down nervously at one of the small circular tables in the small coffee shop, you wait. Dan should be showing up any minute now.

You drum your fingers quietly on the marble table and look around. The sweet smell of coffee fills your nose as you wait patiently.

Whipping your head to the side when you hear the familiar sound of the bell that was on the door, you see Dan walk in. He has his hood pulled over his head and he looks around quickly for you.

"Dan." you say nervously.

Dan looks in your direction and nods, walking over rather slow. He pulls the small, black-barred decorated chair out and plops down in it.

You both sit silent.

Dan doesn't bother to make eye contact with you.
Biting your lip nervously, you break the silence.

"Look, I know this was like so sudden and stuff, Dan..." you start awkwardly. "I just wanted to um...talk this out. We both have been struggling the past few months. I miss what we had and I just-"

"It took me two months to almost forget you completely." Dan cuts you off sternly.

You nod slightly, then bite your lip while looking down at your coffee.

"Can I ask you a question?" Dan says.

"Yeah anything." You look up at him.

"Do you really even know me?"

Sitting silent for a few, you nod.
"Im doing my project on you, of course." you smile slightly.

Dan starts to shake his head.

"You don't know me. You know my story. But you don't know me." he hisses.

Swallowing hard, you sit back in your chair staring at him.
Dan peeks around his hood examining the coffee shop. Looking back at you, he furrows his brows.

"Do you know what anxiety is? Have you ever had it?"

You nod your head.

"No you don't. If you knew what anxiety was then you wouldn't have fucked us up. You wouldn't have got with Simon. You wouldn't have just stomped all over my fucking hea-" his voice trails off as his voice cracks.

Silence takes over you both and the tension in the room grows stronger.

Dan starts speaking again, but softer.

"My anxiety is fucking crazy. Anxiety is worrying about every little thing possible. You never get a break from it. If something bad happens, the fucking anxiety creeps up behind you and it just-it just...it takes you over. You're not yourself. Suddenly you need everyone there for you because you can't do something as simple as communicating with someone, or-or ordering your own food, or you can't even have a fight with someone because you just feel like that person hates you completely when they really don't. It makes you feel like everyone is after you and that everyone cares and is judging you on what you do because that's what anxiety is. You fucked it up so bad," he says. "SO bad, Y/N. It would get so bad to the point where I would be sitting in a corner crying, or I would have panic attacks and-and I'd start to hyperventilate. Just thinking about what you could possibly be doing every second of everyday. Ever minute, hour. It was driving me crazy. I have no nails because I chewed them down to the nail bed, Y/N. I knew I shouldn't have gotten involved with a girl like you..." he looks away and continues. "A fucking beautiful girl. I knew you were too good for me. I told myself that but I-I-I didn't listen. I had to go to so many therapy lessons because of you." he looks up at you again. He swallows hard and grows silent for a minute. "I was diagnosed with the fear of rejection...did you know that?"

You shake your head.

Its silent between you two until you speak up.

"Im sorry Dan," you mumble. "I'm so sorry...I promise that if you give me this second chance, I won't fuck it up..." you look up at him. Dan sits there quiet for a minute then his eyes shift up to you.

"Okay..." he says.

You sigh heavily and scoot your chair back to stand up.

"At least I tried right? I shoulda known you weren't going to give me a chance I-" you cut off and look at Dan quickly. "Wait did you say okay?"

Dan nods, pulling his hood down more.

"Ohmygod-Dan that's...thank you." you can't help but smile really wide.

"Don't fuck this up, Y/L/N." Dan hisses again, shooting you a stare that sends shivers up your spine.

Nodding quickly, you sit back down in your chair and try to hide your smile.

Dan scoots back in his chair, the chair making an obnoxious squealing noise against the tiled white and pink checkered floor.
He stands up, and grabs his coffee.

"W-where are you going?" you ask, scooting back as well and standing up.

"Home." Dan replies dryly.

"W-what? Why?" you say as you catch up to him by the door.

"I have things to do. I'll text you later." he pushes open the door, the bell ringing loudly.

"Okay..." you sigh, watching Dan walk out.