Always Silent

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

My leg jutted to the side, I tap impatiently on my desk. We're learning about the Universal human rights, in this we have to pick someone who held a clause to this pertaining document, no one could decide without arguing so Mr Temple, my history teacher, put a bunch of historic names that have revolutionized politics. As they came around I heard murmurs from my peers, groans of disappointment, cheers of happiness, even my ex-boyfriend cheered, I don't act like he's here anymore, I just look forward and pretend not to listen in hopes that the world would just swallow him whole.

I couldn't sit still, it's like my complete and utter attention is depending on a slip of paper, finally stepping towards me, Mr Temple's well upholstered form approached me, he held out his simple hat and now I was afraid I'd pick out his flaky dandruff instead of a piece of paper.

"Quinn," he nodded, even after three years of knowing about my brother's death he still gives me a sympathetic smile.

He shouldn't pity me; he should know that it was entirely my fault. Yeah that's right, it's my fault my brother is lying in a grave!

I bring a shaky hand up to the hat, for a moment I heard complete silence but then someone started laughing and the volume turned back to normal.

As soon as I held the paper Mr Temple was looking down at me his dark eyes obtaining a small hint of admiration in their centre, Mr Temple has known for three years that after my brother's death a lot in the community had changed for me, I lost a lot of people who had once been the highlight in my social life. I mentioned that the friends I had once thought were my friends really weren't but I also said that there were friends who didn't care about my popularaity, the ones that cared about popularity cut me off and are now backstabbing me every chance they get.

The ones who didn't care about popularity however, I cut them off, I didn't want to talk to them and they were two of the nicest people I had ever met, full of life and hope and yet I didn't want them to get messed up with my shitty problems I didn't want them to see me for the girl I am, I wanted them to remember the playful soul who used to eat ice cream with them.

That is why Mr Temple is admiring me, because even without the social status I am still not succumbing to the darkness that most overcome you at this stage of depression or in my case darkness.

Opening the small slip of paper I look back up to Mr Temple, "Thank you,"

I stare back down at the piece of paper though, her name was scribbled badly on the piece of paper but I knew for some reason this name would affect me greatly.

Eleanor Roosevelt.

The famous woman advocate who grew up with a rough childhood, she lost her father to alcoholism and her mother died after contracting diphtheria, her baby brother at the age of four came down with scarlet fever, he died. It wasn't the general reason she was popular, I didn't give two shits, she suffered in her personal life as well as her social life, and that I can relate to.

Although I'm not a nineties woman I can see her struggles for commendation and praise, I had felt that way until Maxwell's death. I just wasn't good enough anymore.

"Is everything alright Quinn?" Mr Temple had remained in his spot ever since I had thanked him and drifted off into a nameless world.

"Yes, Mr Temple," I turn back to my studies, teachers might still be pitying me but I can assure you they are well over it now, but they don't realise that every day I relive my consequences. That as much could've changed if I had changed time, date, and speed.

I am only as strong as I can be to get through these days, and I am growing tiresome.

At fifty past nine, the bell rings signalling the end to this period, grabbing my old shoulder bag, because I had refused to get rid of it. I make my way to math; I was thinking about getting a drink but then I saw Shania waiting by the counter, she's one of the good friends I was talking about, there is two of them, Shania and Priya. They're the best friends any girls could ask for, even when they know I don't want them near me they try to throw in a conversation which sometimes makes me want to cry and curl up as they comfort me.