Marriage Without Love (Completed)

Chapter 12

Media : Mercy by Shawn Mendes

Life! Why, just why are you so cruel to me?

"Hey superman. Wanna forget about all the sorrow tonight." I phone called Clarke, sadly frustrated with my current situation.

"Hey cold. Let's go drinking. I will be there in 10 minutes. Be ready." He said. His 'cold' nickname making me laugh.

Is snow cold? It is but it can make inside of a igloo warm. Gotta tell him when we meet. Am I talking like I am drunk already? May be. When I am sad, I always act like mad man. Or woman in my case. Though I had be happy to be man right now.

I wear clothes in which I look good. My friends call me hot, like the dresses I wear are hot. Actually psychology behind it is when someone will praise me for looking good, I will feel happy so...

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"Ya knoooowwww, it's really cruel. When he doesn't intend to l-love me, ther why giiivveee me hope?" I slurred. I was totally wasted now.

Yeah Clarke knew that I was married to Will. He opposed my plan to hook Will to someone else when I loved him but he understood well when I explained him that a gay man can't love a woman and also,

Love is not about restraint.

Love is about letting go of it means the lover will be happier with someone else.

Though I knew i was happier with him.

"Oh...what did he do?" Clarke asked, gulping down his third drink while I was on my first one.

I am such a lightweight.

It feels so good though.

The taste is bitter but it's bitterness is nothing compared to what my heart is feeling now. But it's making me forget it, temporarily though. I know I have to face it tomorrow but i wanna let loose today. Sometimes you gotta take a break.

"He brought me a ring he liked when he was buying one to propose Mark. I know he means nothing by it & he just brought it for his 'best friend' but still it would be better if I only saw that ring on Mark's hand." I sniffled a little.

"Oh man! He's a real jerk. How dare he do that to you?" Clarke shouts in his semi high state.

"Hey be quiet a little." The bartender in front of us say to us.

"Why should we?" I yell back.

"Cold cold, stop. People are staring. Anyways, Will is a big dick." Clarke says to me, annoyed.

"I don't know if he has a big dick. I haven't seen it." I whispered like anyone would speak of a secret.

"SNOW!" He groans out loud. "Oops. sorry!" He says to the bartender. "Snow, would you stop saying things like that. I said that he is a big...bastard."

"Ohhhhhh...he didn't intend to but it still hurts. You know, I was so happy then when he gave it to me but when he kissed Mark just after he gifted it to me as Mark came along his side with his hand snaked around Mark's waist. The sight...they looked good with each other...it was painful. Too painful. I know what they do if they are lovers but it hurts like if I ever even witness them going all lovey-dovey infront of my eyes." I sighed after letting it all out.

"I know I am not beautiful, heck he even said I am ugly. I just know that I am not that bad if you just ignore my face. I am thick at all the right places. Any man would like that, right?" I questioned Clarke, frowning.

He nodded his looking hell lot surprised.

"You know he would definitely be atleast sexually attracted to me if I tried to seduce him, given if he had been fucking straight. But he is as STRAIGHT as a CIRCLE." I emphasised, raising my voice a little over what could have been comfortable with ears. But what can I do? I am frustrated. Clarke looks apologetically at bartender again but now the Bartender is giving him a seductive smile.