Marriage Without Love (Completed)

Chapter 17

Media : Just a little bit of your heart by Ariana Grande. (A really special song to me, I loved it that much that I don't wanna share it with anyone but again maybe most of you may have already heard it.)

Sometimes you love a person so much that the gender doesn't matter anymore. You would like to get intimate with the person like kissing, hugging and other stuff but there is no need for those intimate moments to be there for you to be happy. You just want to stay by their side. The smile on their face puts one on your own too like a freaking mirror reflecting every single emotion the person in front is feeling. Just the intensity of those reflected emotions might just be a little more stronger with the helplessness of not being able to control one's own feelings.

This is what I am experiencing.

Just that I can't even stay by his side now.

That hurts way to much to handle. I have had enough for now and I need a break from this shit...this shit that's breaking my heart every second. It feels like someone is squeezing my heart when I see him looking and smiling at someone else.

So, it's better to leave.

For both of us.

Right now, I am in my clinic. On the bed that was kept in the spare room that I had if anytime I needed to rest or anything. I had left secretively about an hour ago but not before leaving a note that I had an emergency shift at some hospital and it would give them some privacy at he too. I had to be funny since I don't want him to be suspicious. He could be real tenacious if he wanted.

Such a Worrywart! I smiled as I thought.

Yeah I stopped crying before reached home yesterday. They woke me up when we reached home as I asked them to go in first since I had to wear my footwear that I had removed before since I was sitting with my feet on the seat.

After making sure that Will and Mark are busy and won't notice me, I leave the house that was once my home.

Nah.

I was always a guest here. It's just that I didn't know that I was.

Well here I was in my clinic room bed, crying my eyes out. But I gotta get a hold of this. May be I should cry all I want today so that I have pent up sadness.

Nah. Crying doesn't help me much. Solving the problem or facing it head on with a result at the end does. It always does for me.

Why am I so sad?

I begin by asking myself. The answer is simple. Because I love Will. But he doesn't.

He does actually. Just in a different way. But it's not enough.

At least he does.

That's true though but it still isn't enough.

What more do you want? He loves you in some way. Even if you aren't happy, you should be happy for him. At least he got his love.

Yeah, I should be. I wonder why I am not. May be my feelings are getting the better of me. Sin of envy plaguing my existence.

I shouldn't.

His happiness is my happiness.

I wished him to be happier.

I always will.

It was my fate. He is not to blame. It's my problem.

I have to solve it.

And the solution is right in front of me. His happiness. True love is all about that.