Marriage Without Love (Completed)

Chapter 25

Media : Mind is a prison by Alec Benjamin

"What the fuck Will?" I yelled.

Shane had drove away after honking. He must be furious thinking that I was making a fool out of him tonight.

"He was trying to feel y-" Will started his explanation but I am not buying it anymore.

"The fuck do you want Will? I had gone to the pub to get myself a boyfriend. I was out to lose my virginity, he would have touched my entire naked body! Yet he still hasn't even kissed me! And you think he is the 'bad guy'." I shouted in anger. I was seeing red. His actions totally confused me.

"Wha-" Will started to speak again but I interrupted him not wanting shit anymore. There's already enough drama in my life right now. "Just fuck off Will. I don't wanna see your face right now. Please don't try to contact me." I said, still furious but tears brimming my eyes. Yes, I couldn't take leaving him but right now I need to tell him that it is not acceptable to meddle in my life issues like he was doing when I am not approving it.

I looked up at his face which was twisted with pain and surprise before turning away to my car and driving it to my clinic.

I feel so conflicted.

Life is so unfair.

He is such a douchebag.

I am such a scum.

I was happy to see him hurt when I should be sad. It was like my inner demons were saying that's karma for you for showing off your boyfriend in front of me every single day.

I know that he is worried as a friend but seriously, he is getting too nosy. It's my choice if I want to date a jerk or have a one night stand with him, he can't just say anything. I will make mistakes and will learn from it. Yeah I may get hurt in the process but that's what everyone does.

You get hurt.

You lose faith and trust.

You feel alone.

But it gives you the power to rise above.

Either because you want to overcome the problem or because you want revenge but still there is some motivation.

Or the pain may be so severe that you are broken.

What's broken can be mend but there's always a crack.

But a crack can be filled or can be made bigger. And that's YOUR CHOICE.

I choose to fill it. By doing social work. By celebrating other's happiness. By loving myself. By looking at the person I love being happy. I was always that kinda girl. From the very beginning. Maybe that's why when no one loved me, I didn't feel bad. I felt like I am not that loveable. And it's obvious now.

I am ugly. I am weird. I am socially awkward. I don't leave an impression on anybody. My body has prominent boobs and hips but my face kills it. Hot body can be lusted for, not loved. People used to call me cute but is there anything in this world that's not cute.

Back to the issue at hand. I tend to get distracted so much. But atleast it didn't let me cry while driving.

In my clinic, I realised that I should atleast message Shane, apologising for the thing he watched. Thank God we exchanged phone numbers.

Hey. Sorry. I am really sorry. I just wanted you to know that I seriously enjoyed our time together today. If you are still willing, I would like to meet you tomorrow.

I sent him the message stating the truth. Yup I enjoyed the time with him but I don't know if I like him that way yet so I didn't texted him that. But I feel shameless for texting him to meet me after what happened today.