Jungkook | Saved

7

I've decided to try my hand at music.

Guitar specifically. But first I need to learn the basics. Bars, notes, rhythm, and scales. I already know a little. Dancing helped me with rhythm and following a beat. All I really need to get down is learning the scales and individual notes.

But as with anything, it comes easy enough. Days turn into weeks. And by the time a month has passed I've started my hand at actually playing acoustic.

The guitar feels foreign in my grasp. Sitting down, hunched over a little feels strange. Stretching out my fingers hurts. Calluses are just starting to form and its annoying. Because it's not as easy as I thought. Pressing my fingers down on the strings, molding my fingers in just the right way to create beautiful harmonies, is hard. A few scales is difficult enough, but putting them together to play a song is even more difficult. Because I don't remember the last time I listened to music. I can't recall the sound of a song I liked.

Even recalling songs I used to dance too is hard.

I bite my lip in frustration and push the guitar out of my lap. It clatters on the ground, echoing the chords in the room.

"Jungkook?"

I stand up and head to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I need to cool down. Because my heated frustration is starting to boil over.

Namjoon slides off his glasses and looks at me with concern, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong hyung. Go back to work."

I grabbed a glass from the cabinet, filled it up in the sink, and downed it in one go. I placed the cup in the sink before grabbing the edge of the counter. I stepped back a bit and hung my head. It felt heavy. All the memories of my past felt heavy. The memories that were locked away.

"Keep telling yourself that and you'll eventually break the damn guitar."

I slammed my hands down so hard on the counter that it took Namjoon by surprise, "Quit talking to me like you know everything!"

He flinched from being startled, but it didn't stop him from stepping closer, "Quit taking out your anger on me when you're the one who stopped trying."

"What do you think I'm doing? Huh?!" I walked around the counter and pointed at the guitar on the floor, "I didn't just buy that for shits and giggles!"

"But you did buy it to run away from your problems kid."

I watched as he slowly made his way to the guitar, picking it up and sitting on the couch. He rested his foot on his knee, bringing the guitar to rest in his lap. He strummed the chords once, letting them ring until they rang no more.

"What happened to painting?"

"I told you I didn't want to paint." I slid my hands into the back pockets of my jeans and looked away, "What are you... my dad?"

He chuckled to himself, strumming his hand one more time down the strings before standing up and putting the guitar where he was just sitting. "I'm not your dad. I'm not your brother. And I'm not your doctor." With each confirmation of what he wasn't, he took a step closer to me until he was only a foot away. "I'm your friend."

I kept my eyes glued to the wall and remained silent.

"You promised me you wouldn't lie," he spoke with too much hurt and disappointment.

I clicked my tongue, "I haven't lied."

"Not to me Jungkook. To yourself." He put his hand on my shoulder, letting it linger for just a second before he walked back into his office.