Jungkook | Saved

9

Falling in love. It's not a concept that's foreign to me. I remember what it was like.

But the thing about it that has me so worried, is the fear of losing the person I love.

And when I see Y/N smile when she talks about art, or the way she teases me about being shy and awkward, makes me feel like I'm in love. Because I can't help but just stare into her eyes. I catch myself doing that all the time now. And I force myself to look away. I force the smile away from my lips and try and shrug it off.

It's fear that keeps holding me back. And I hate it.

"Jungkook...."

I realize I'm staring again, so I take a long sip of my coffee to distract myself.

"You totally spaced out just now," she giggled. "I was waving my hand in your face and everything!"

I chuckled a little, "Yeah I guess I'm a little distracted today."

"We didn't have to come here if you didn't want too. We could have gone somewhere else for our date." She quickly started waving her hand and shook her head, completely flustered, "N-Not a date! That's not what I meant!"

She's really cute.

"No, it's not-" I tried making sense of my words all jumbled in my head, "I mean, it doesn't have anything to do with the place or you I just- I have a lot going on in my head at the moment."

Calm once again, she put the tip of her index finger on the end of her straw and made it go in circles, "Stuff from the past?"

"Yeah."

She propped her head onto her closed hand, making her cheek squish in a really cute way, "Wanna talk about it?"

I looked more clearly into her eyes seeing her patiently waiting. The same kind of eyes like Namjoon's.

"You told me before that you like me."

"Um-"

"That you like how I'm serious and stuff?"

"O-Oh, yeah. What about it," she asked with a nervous giggle, going back to playing with her straw with her fingers.

"Well, I like how carefree you seem to be."

She shook her head with a smile, still staring at her straw, "I'm not that carefree. I mean, I guess I don't think I am."

"Yeah you are. You seem like the type to take things as they come and go with the flow." I suddenly felt my hands started to get clammy. I rubbed them on my jeans, "I wish I was like that."

"Rather than wishing it, just try changing the way you see things." She tilted her head as she thought out loud, "Like if you were caught in a situation that was tough, instead of panicking and getting mad, try and change the way you think to be calm and realize that things are temporary. You know it's because if you linger on something too long you'll miss out on the important stuff. Ah- I hope that makes sense!"

She got embarrassed and started sipping on her coffee despite it already empty. And then started rambling on about some movie that just released because I wasn't saying anything. And it's not like I wanted to keep quiet, but her words resonated with me. She rendered me speechless. And just hearing her talk has actually become something relaxing to me.

But I notice her blushing again and she's stopped talking. "What's wrong?"

"You're staring again," she spoke hesitantly and slightly embarrassed.

"Oh," I quickly looked down, "I'm sorry."

"It's ok," she dismissed it with a smile.

But now the both of us are just staring down. And I don't know about her, but my heart seems to be stuck in the middle of my throat.