Decimate

Chapter Three--Phil--We're Going On An Adventure!

I woke up to the sound of birds.

I glanced to my side to see Dan with his face buried in his pillow.

"Dan," I whispered, poking his nose. "Listen to the birds"

Dan groaned. "**** off Phil."

I climbed out from under my sleeping bag. "Dan," I whined. "Don't curse."

"Don't ****ing tell me what to do Phil, you absolute ass."

I frowned a bit, knowing there was no way I was going to win this argument. I hopped over Dan to my desk, and pulled out a shirt. I pulled it over my head with some difficulty, and almost fell over.

I leaned down next to my window to smile at my newest plant. "Hello Jeremy," I giggled.

Dan sighed. "Phil, don't talk to your cactus while other people are sleeping. It's rude."

"Don't listen to him Jeremy," I whispered to my cactus. "He's just jealous."

"Jealous of a ****ing cactus?"

"Who wouldn't be?"

Dan pulled his head out of his pillow and glared at me. "Shut up Phil."

We sat in silence for a minute before I spoke up again. "Dan."

A sigh. "What Phil?"

"I want to go on an adventure."

He stared at me. "Really Phil? An adventure?"

"Yes!"

He groaned, and flopped back onto his pillow. "Where to?"

"We could bike to the woods!"

He climbed out of his sleeping bag with a sigh. "Fine. Let me get ready."

Half an hour later we were loaded up with water bottles and snack bars, and were both dressed, Dan wearing a black shirt with a white eclipse design on it, and me in a dark purple shirt with an evil face on it, and both of us in black skinny jeans.

I wheeled my bike out of the garage and waited for Dan to grab his from next door.

Then we wheeled away.

We reached the woods before long, and biked along the gravel path at a leisurely pace. I chattered along aimlessly at Dan, who didn't respond back, and I figured out why when I looked behind me.

"Dan!" I yelled, pulling over. "Why do you have your headphones in? I was talking."

"I know," Dan said pulling his earphones out. "You were annoying me."

Honestly, sometimes I wonder why I'm friends with him.

Dan's nose wrinkled. "What's that smell?" He looked over at me. "What?" I asked. "I remembered to put on deodorant!" Dan didn't reply, simply hopping off his bike and pushing past me. He pushed a few branches out of the way, to reveal the biggest turd I've ever seen. "Holy ****!" Dan yelled. "Literally!"

Something dripped on my head, and I lifted my face to see what had left it.