three days | jikook✧| COMPLETED

14,

September 26th

You know that feeling when you want to cry out loud and let people know that you can't bear the pain anymore?
Yeah, that was exactly what Jungkook was feeling.
Expect, his pain was accompanied by anger and self loathing, that would continuously nag at him with negative thoughts.

Jungkook was never much of a feely person in any particular situation really, but that night he felt like eating himself alive.

Why?
Guilt was slowly rising to the point where it made Jungkook want to throw himself out of the nearest window, which in this case was in the living room, where he slept that night.

Telling himself he'd never have to come back at his parents house, was the only thing keeping him sane, besides Jimin himself and now neither of the two were with him any longer.

The only friends he used to have, were now completely ignoring him, except for Yoongi.

He stood by Jungkook's side when the younger needed it and that night he needed his hyung the most, but he wasn't going to bother the elder for every minor problem he might have caused or not.

He was in fact twenty years old and the thought of asking for help about anything, unfortunately made Jungkook hate himself more and more, every single day.

Unable to fix even the simplest and easiest things by himself, was Jungkook's weak point, but definitely not his weakest point.
There were far worse things that had happened in his life before be even knew what the word 'friend' meant.

Ever since the younger can remember, there would always be a toxic atmosphere in the presence of his parents.

Maybe it was the fact that his mom was an alcoholic or the fact that his dad would spend all their money on gambling in casinos.
But either way, the family was never stable.

Not until he met the best people in his life, the people that taught him what being loved truly felt like.

For the past 5 years, Jungkook has been living the life he never even dared to dream of when he was younger.

Having a family that loved him and supported him in every way, was everything Jungkook ever wanted.

He wanted the love and trust his parents never offered.

But he received more than just love and trust.

He also built a strong relationship with someone he –at first sight– hated.
Let's just say that Jungkook and Jimin's friendship started off as nothing but pure hate for one another.
They were the only two in the group of seven friends that absolutely loathed each other's guts.

And as funny as it is, nobody saw their friendship coming, much less their relationship, while it still lasted.

As time passed by, Jungkook found himself sneaking back in his bedroom, checking up on Jimin.

He took the lightest steps possible, trying not to wake up the small figure on his bed.
Unfortunately, Jimin hadn't fallen asleep at all and he heard the younger enter the room.

The elder hadn't drank or eaten properly in four days.
At that current state, his appearance was one to surely avoid on the streets at night.

If only Jimin knew what was going on with him.

It would be so much easier to deal with it, to fight it if he could, but all he knew was that he had a stupid cold that hadn't left in days.

His body would occasionally tremble, his hands and feet would be stone cold and his head would hurt like crazy, but of course Jimin has experienced those things before, just not all at once.

"Hyung, are you sleeping?"

Jimin's breath hitched, the second the question left Jungkook's lips.

Jimin kept quiet and pretended to sleep.
"I know you hate it when I call you hyung, but we gotta be serious about all of this," the younger took a seat next to the bed and rested his arms on his bare legs, "and I am not talking about us. I am talking about you."

"What is going on with you hyung? You're not you. You don't look like yourself, please let me help you."

"If not as a partner, then at least as a friend, just please let me help you," Jungkook took Jimin's hand in his own and lightly squeezed it.

Jimin was about to go all crazy on him, but the thought quickly left his head, as Jungkook's hand warmed up Jimin's cold one.

As much as he hated it, he loved the feeling.

He really loved it and he really missed it, but he knew he couldn't have it.
Not at their current state at least.

Jungkook slowly rubbed his thumb on the back of Jimin's hand, sending goosebumps all over the elder's body.

"I know I am in no position to ask you this," Jungkook took a deep breath, "but I want you to forgive me. I want to ask you for your forgiveness."

"I know and I am aware that you will never forgive me for the stupid things I've done, but please," the younger had now grabbed Jimin's hand with both of his hands, "I'm begging you to forgive me this time. I can't live with the fact that you might think of me as the worst person ever."

"I'd understand though," Jungkook sighed, "if you don't want to. Forgiving me is like trying to forgive satan for everything he's done; it's impossible."

"I know I am a fuck up. I know I've hurt you in ways I'll never be able to fix and I mostly know that your heart is broken and it's broken by me. And I am sorry for that, I truly am."

As much as Jimin tried ignoring the words Jungkook was speaking, it was extremely hard.
Jimin had never heard the younger express his feelings so deeply and it hurt him, knowing that he was the cause to all those words.

And just like that, Jungkook and Jimin fell asleep in same room that night.

Both of them feeling sorry for what they've put the other through, but only one of them expressing those feelings out loud.

And it was Jungkook, also known as the "emotionless robot", as he used to get called at school.

But things change and so do people and Jungkook was no longer a robot, whose emotions were constantly hidden behind his strong features.

~*•ффФфф•*~

better ending, but our lives;