Noir

Teaser

I paced my bed chambers, my bare feet pounding against the wooden floor as I waited for my husband to arrive. I had kicked off my shoes, and washed my face free of the excessive paint and powder they had choked my skin with, feeling relatively free. Well, as free as a caged bird possibly could be. My heart was racing, because I knew exactly what men did to their brides on their wedding nights, and I was afraid. I had already said my goodbyes to my family at home, and the wedding was hours ago. Now, it was just the wait.

The door slowly opened, and I stopped mid-pace, my foot in the air. My husband entered the room slowly, and I stopped what I was doing and bowed before him. 

"Jikyung-nim," He said, his voice soft. He reached out, touching my chin with two of his fingers and raising my head to face his. I stared at him in shock, realizing that he was incredibly close to me. 

"You don't need to bow." My heart began to race with that nervous feeling of paranoia that I was feeling more and more frequently. Part of me wanted to sit down, but that would have been rude. I wasn't raised as a common peasant.

"You are my husband," I plastered on the most saccharine smile I could manage. 

"You are nobility. You are Zhang Yixing. I bow to you." This marriage meant a lot to both of our families, but not to me. Although his Korean was good, Yixing was still a foreigner, and when I had thought of my wedding, I thought that I would be married to a Korean, and still living in Korea. At least not so far far away from my family, my home. 

"You look even more beautiful without makeup," He said, smiling a little, as he touched my face. 

"What they say about you is true then."

"What do they say about me?" I pulled back, frowning, and Yixing's hand fell, his attempt at flirtation lost. He quickly tried to recover.

"They say you are the most beautiful girl in Korea," He said, stepping towards me again, taking my hands in his. 

"The servants of my father told me you were lovely when they met you, that you were most fair, and  kind, gentle..." He advanced towards the bed, a coy smile on his face, and I could physically feel my heart flying around in my chest. 

"I see this is true." He whispered, and I glanced at the closed door.

"Yixing - nim..." I murmured, my eyes going everywhere but to him. 

"Don't." What was I saying!? I couldn't refuse him! He was my husband now, and wives were their husband's property. He had every right to do as he wished to me, as sickening as that was.

I pulled away from him, and climbed under the sheets of the bed, going to the very edge and curling up tightly under the blankets, hoping to make my message clear. Subconsciously, I thought that he wouldn't touch me with the blankets shielding me, like a small child hides in her bed and pulls the blankets up to her chin when she is frightened. He stopped, his smile falling, and I realized I didn't care if I was being rude. I did not want to have sex with this man. I would not have sex with this man. 

"I'm sorry," He lowered his gaze, his eyes humbly falling, and he very slowly climbed into bed, trying to appear as non-threatening as possible. I stared at him in shock, surprised that he was respecting my desire to refuse him. He lay away from me, keeping a respectful distance between us, and I was still could not believe it. I had won. I curled the blankets around my chest tightly, and after I heard his gentle snoring, and my heart had returned to its normal palpitations, I finally fell asleep.