Noir

Chapter 20 - Hunted

"Milady, what are we going to do?" Luhan whispered, his eyes passing into the adjacent room to Yixing, who was playing with our daughter. I watched my husband in apprehension, a horrible part of me fearing that because of his lack of experience with infants, and his time in battle, he wouldn't know how to behave. I felt even worse thinking like that, because it meant I didn't fully trust Yixing around his own baby girl.

"We have to find out why he deserted," I murmured, watching as my baby smiled up at her father, giggling away. "And we can't stay here much longer. If the army knows that he deserted, then they must surely be looking for him."

"Where can you go?" Luhan asked. "You have an infant daughter, and authorities will be searching for you everywhere."

"Korea is the only option I can see," I sighed. "The army cannot track us there, and Yixing and I can both speak the language. I have no idea how we can travel with the baby though. She's too small to leave the house, and traveling across the country and then the sea is out of the question."

"Then I suppose that all we must do is wait for the time being," Luhan said soberly. "Yixing cannot leave the house, and he absolutely cannot be seen. But milady, you must know that even when the war is over, the army would still be looking for him. And if he is caught - "

"I know what will happen if he is caught," I interrupted severely, then paused, softening my voice. "I'm sorry, Luhan, I'm just so afraid. But have you seen him though? He looks so broken. I don't know what he has seen, nor could I possibly understand, but it has changed him. He...he isn't the same Yixing. I can just tell."
"Give him some time," Luhan said comfortingly, laying a soothing hand on my arm. "He just needs some time to adjust back to civilian life. My Lord will be just fine."

++

Despite Luhan's reassurances, however, I still could not fully relax around Yixing. At nights, I could hear him murmuring in his sleep, talking to his commanding officers, mumbling orders. His face looked dark and disturbed, and when I would wake him, he would close his eyes and refuse to speak of things. I begged him to talk to me, just to begin to communicate again, but he was so closed off, so adamant about not speaking about his time in the army ever again.

As the days passed, I grew less weary about his discovery, but more frustrated with my husband. I just wished for the tenderness and loving that we used to have, which was now replaced by a stoicism and silent denial of any problems. I longed for the day when he would kiss me back, when he would hold me close again without feeling reserved.

I was outside one day with my baby swaddled on my back, hanging clothes to dry on the clothesline. It was a warm sunny day, and I was enjoying the heat, when I suddenly heard the pounding of hoofbeats. I looked up to see several men on horseback riding up to our home, and my heart plummeted to the pit of my stomach.

They stopped before me, and I saw that they were dressed in military uniform. There could only be one reason as to why they were here. Yixing.
"Milady Zhang," One dismounted and bowed curtly to me. "We are here on account of your husband."

"Yixing?" I asked. "Tell me he's alright, please!" I lied effortlessly.

"We wouldn't know, milady," The man replied stonily. "He has deserted."

"No..." I tried to look surprised. "Yixing wouldn't do that...I don't believe..."

"We have reason to believe that he is being harbored here - "

"If my husband were here I would surely know it!" I exclaimed in indignation, taking my daughter out of the sling and holding her protectively in my arms. "Believe me when I say that I have not seen Yixing!"