2:02 am
I sat there in silence, not knowing what to say. I felt like he really meant it, but I couldn't be too sure. I wanted to tell him that I still loved him. I wanted him to know that I still cared, but what came out of my mouth was the complete opposite.
"Are you sure?" I asked, accidentally sounding disdainful.
I immediately wished I could take those words back. I saw the look he gave me and I felt like I had just ruined everything.
"'Are you sure?'" He repeated in an irritated tone.
"Yes I'm fucking sure! Why would I ask you to come over just to lie to your face!" He scoffed.
I didn't want to, but anger came over me and words just burst out of my mouth with no thought at all.
"Because you've done it before!" I exclaimed.
There was a hush. He looked away. I did too. This was the worst. Why and how did things end up like this?
I heard a sniffle. I instantly directed my attention towards George. Was he crying? Was he really crying? I've never seen him even well up before. Was he actually being legitimate? I immediately felt awful about what I'd done. I shouldn't have yelled at him. I scooted closer to him.
The lighting was dim and he had his head resting in his hands so I couldn't really see his face, but I heard it again. A stifled sniffle. I started to reach out to put my hand on his back, but I hesitated. What if I had just ruined everything? He was trying to sincerely apologize and I was a total jerk.
I had to at least try to make things right, so I put my hand on his back like I was going to do before. George flinched a little and then relaxed. I began rubbing his back trying to soothe him. I again scooted closer. He didn't move. I leaned over a small bit to be level with his head.
"Hey, Joj... it's ok..." I said softly.
Joj... I hadn't called him that in a while. There were just too many good memories attached to the name.
"Everything's ok. I believe you. I-," I took a long breath in, "I miss you, too. A lot. I'm sorry for what I said. I-I didn't mean-"
George still didn't move. I felt like I was talking to a brick wall. It felt awful. I knew that the reason we weren't together anymore was because of him, but I just ruined us getting back together with a few dumb words. Although it felt hopeless, I continued to try to get to him.
"Joji. Look at me. Please..." I pleaded.
No movement.
"Please..." I said again, almost a whisper.
I felt tears begin to form in my eyes. I guess that was it. It was really over. I couldn't get to him. I ruined it. I stood up and began to walk to the door. I didn't want him to see me cry. I opened the door and was about to walk out when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Wait." George said.
I turned around to face him.
"I know... you probably didn't mean it. I mean, you always used to speak before you thought." He chuckled a little.
He actually laughed and smiled. Was Joji back? I smiled back at him.
"Yeah, it's kinda a problem." I giggled.
"Kinda?" He laughed again.
We just stood there. I didn't know what to say. Do I say "I want you back"? Do I say "I love you"? I meant both of those things, but was it too soon? Before I could form another thought, George caught me off guard. His lips crashed against mine and it had never felt better.
He grabbed my waist tightly and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I was never going to let go again. We finally came apart after a while and I could look at him. I knew that Joji was back. I guided him over to the couch and sat down. I patted the seat next to me and Joji sat down, fairly close to me. This was all great, but not everything was settled yet.
"Joj, what happened?" I asked sincerely.
"What do you mean?" He replied, slightly confused.
"What happened to you? What happened to us?"
