letters to fay // z.m.

05

dear fay,

today my mum told me to 'wake up' from this 'depression' i'm in. she said i'm like a lost puppy, and it needs to stop.

i told her that i couldn't and then she snapped.

"yes you can, zayn malik!" she said in a castigating and harsh voice. "she was just a stupid girl! she left, deal with it! it's been two months!"

and that's when i made a pretty big mistake.

"screw you! can't you see that fay still means a lot to me?! i'm trying mum, i really am, but you are being so cruel, mum!"

she gave me a glare and said in that angry motherly tone that all mothers have-- "zayn mali--

"don't blame me for dad leaving! just because you got over him so fast doesn't mean i can get over fay!" i shouted at her.

she kicked me out, fay.

i guess i'm not all that surprised...i'm nineteen years old, not attending any universities, and i just lost my job.

i'm writing this from the very bench we kissed on in the park. there isn't a wind today, so the willow tree isn't blowing in the wind. it's eerie and weird.

i packed a bag of my things. that's all they are really, just things. meaningless things. clothes. a toothbrush. shoes. all of my saved up money. some deodorant. nothing special.

i'm wearing my leather jacket. it still has your smell on it...i stopped wearing it when you left.

i've decided to go out and look for you. tomorrow i'll go to your house, see if i can find anything. anything that will lead me to you.

fay, where did you go?

-z